stillparentingafteralltheseyears's comments

Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

31 Jul 2009 03:49 PM

Very glad to have found this thread, now I know why I got on this site. Part of my "everything happens for a reason" philosophy of life. It makes me feel so much better to read of others going through so much of what has also caused me so much pain.

Also, my husband's late father was NPD. I find myself envying him thet his father finally carried out his many times threat of killing himslef 2 months ago and now my husband no longer has to deal with his father and the daily destruction. Many of my best friends mothers are also NPD. We give one another support and strength and are willing to listen nonjudgemantally to the crazy stories.

Thank you so much for these threads and articles. You are ding a great thing here!!!!

Narcissism-Symptoms and Treatment (1) - Blog Entry

31 Jul 2009 03:32 PM

I can relate to much of the articla and the responses. My mother definately has NPD, my older sister pointed this out to me years ago but it was not until my father was dying that I saw the truth. My mother treated him badly but I find some comfort in knowing I was able to help him die with some dignity and peace. What is working for me is to spend as little time with her as possible and treat her as I would someone I barely know, which is in fact the reality. My husband's father, also NPD, followed through on his much repeated threat to kill himself two months ago. I find myself envying my husband his release from having to deal with his NPD parent.

What Would You Do for Love? - Blog Entry

30 Jul 2009 07:18 PM

Does class really matter as much today as in times past? From what I have seen from my young adult children and their friends, most young people today do not even seem to notice class. Ten years ago, finding myself single and of limited means, I chose to buy a mobile home that was affordable for me and my then 15 y/o daughter. All of our friendships continued and the only comments recieved were admiration that I was able to maintain a stable home for myself and my child. People are so much less judgemental than they were in previous generations. The term 'trailer trash' is very offensive to anyone who is doing the best they can with limited resources, especially in today's economy.

The Linea Nigra - Blog Entry

29 Jul 2009 05:30 PM

Did not get it but worried I would since my mother's and 2 older sister's lines never faded totally. I did get dark nipples but they faded back to pale tan a few months after stopping breastfeeding. I have often wondered why THAT happened though.

Breech Baby Blues - Blog Entry

29 Jul 2009 05:23 AM

Also, I delivered both of my children, each in a different hospital, in the birthing center of the hospital with a midwife. My son's entry was perfect, no extended labor, I stayed at home until 45 minutes before his birth and he had no problems. With my daughter we were fortunate to be in the hospital because she had excess mucus and needed to be aspirated numerous times. It is possible to have a wonderful birthing experience in the hospital. It is also wonderful to be in the hospital if your child needs a higher level of care.

Breech Baby Blues - Blog Entry

29 Jul 2009 05:11 AM

My daughter was breech for over 2 months then turned on her own one week before her 2 week early entry into the world. This was 25 years ago and my midwife suggested lots of baths and time in the indoor pool. I'm not sure what the current philosophy is for this, but it did work for us. My daughter was very small, just 6 lbs 2 oz at birth, so that may have helped. Check with your midwife to see if she feels this may be helpful. When she did turn, I was in the pool, it tooks hours, and was somewhat painful but no worse than mild labor. I have never heard of the external turning method in the above post, but would have opted for that rather than a c-section. Good luck to all of you!

Daddy Radio - Blog Entry

28 Jul 2009 06:33 PM

This I would love to see! You get a "good daddy" for your efforts and commitment! Let us know how and if it works!

Embracing Frugality - Blog Entry

26 Jul 2009 04:35 PM

Coming from a family of 7 children and a stay at home mom (the norm in the 50's and 60's) I learned to be frugal at a very young age. My husband came from a family of 4 and his mother worked, and has always made a good living so being frugal is a new concept for him. When we were dating, I was amazed at how he would so easily squander his money for things I found unnecessary and let him know he would have to change his ways. Now he is the one who is looking for bargains and brags about how much money he has saved. When I recently suggested paying full price for a needed item he was horrified, stating we could wait for it to go on sale!!

I Do Not Want To Know - Blog Entry

25 Jul 2009 07:49 PM

Being single for 12 1/2 years, I became adept at fixing what I could and not being above asking for help from my male friends and/or asking to borrow my g/f's husbands or boyfriends. I would offer free babysitting or a pan of my famous stuffed shells or a dessert. Most of my single friends and I traded favors, the brother of one was very handy and she would ask him to do things for me and I would ask my friends to help them out when they needed the favor returned. The great thing is no one felt taken advantage of and we all made a lot more friends. Though one guy was a plumber and after a few years stopped returning our calls. We prefer to think it was because his new g/f was so jealous of us, but we all did call on him a lot.......

Southerners Spank Their Kids More - Blog Entry

25 Jul 2009 07:26 PM

My dad is from the south and spanked my 2 brothers a LOT and the 5 girls very rarely. My mom is from the north and never did, but tolerated my dad doing so. I hated the one spanking I got and resolved at 11 not to spank my own children. The one time I gave my then 2 1/2 y/o son one swat on the diaper, for running out into the road when a car was coming, I felt just terrible for hitting him when I could just as easily have talked to him. I never struck him again or my daughter ever, but they do remember me threatening them when they were particularly challenging. I am very against spanking for any reason and nanny for a family who has never struck any of their 3 children. We do time out, explaining good choices and praising good listening. I find it disturbing when I see anyone striking thier child. My sister and I feel that is because it was terrorizing watching my older brothers being hurt when they were hit by my father. Spanking does not only hurt the one who is being struck.