Tag Archives: affairs

Opposite Sex Friendships: Playing with Fire

I’ll warn you ahead of time.  You may not agree with anything I have to say in this blog.  In fact, you might think I’m living in the dark ages…but that’s okay. The issue I’m talking about today is friendships with the opposite sex.  But please understand ahead of time that I am coming at this from the angle of seeing the destruction it almost cost my marriage and the fact I have been married for 21 ½ years. My opinion is that having a friendship with someone of the opposite sex is playing with fire.  Think about how many … Continue reading →

What Love Is Not

Love means wanting the best for someone. It does not mean putting them in a compromising situation, or expecting them to sneak around and live a double life so you can have time together. It does not mean hurting them willfully by forcing them to choose between family and them. They’re all the things that people who have affairs do. And the excuse? They’re ‘in love.’ But I can’t help thinking it sounds more like selfishness because they are more concerned with what they want and getting their way rather than what is best for the other person, and selfishness … Continue reading →

A Serious Conversation about Affairs.

The other day Mick and I had a serious conversation about affairs. No, neither of us is planning on having one. We were talking about Mary Ann’s recent article as to the primary cause of affairs. The conversation started when I’d asked Mick what he thought it might be. He said ‘greed. They’re not happy with what they’ve got and want something more.’ The other things he mentioned were ‘opportunity and dissatisfaction.’ If people were getting what they needed at home they wouldn’t feel the need to stray and look for something else. It’s when they’re not getting what they … Continue reading →

You Can Window Shop All You Like

‘You can window shop all you like so long as you don’t take the goods home.’ This is the attitude of many to marriage. Another along similar lines is ‘you can flirt as much or lust as you like, so long as when you’re having sex it’s with your spouse.’ These are the type of attitudes a young married couple hear a lot from others they work with and even their friends. The idea is that it is harmless but is it? Faithfulness in marriage isn’t only about sex. It also means not going off for coffee with another of … Continue reading →

Cheating Made Easy

Cheating on your marriage partner has never been easier. The internet is making it easier for couples to hook up with others who are looking for affairs. A relatively new website makes it even easier for the average person to make connections with those looking to go outside the boundaries of marriage. According to an article in Time magazine ,679,000 people have used the cheater’s internet site. Of these users 92% of males are married while 60% of females who use the site are married. In the last year membership of the site has doubled to 4 million. These are … Continue reading →

Forever Young

We’ve all heard the old adage, ‘you’re only as old as you feel.’ It’s true, up to a point. But the March 23 issue of Time magazine has an article by Catherine Mayer on Amortality. No, that’s not a misprint. Amortality is her coined word for those who insist on acting, dressing behaving the same at 40, 50 or 60 or beyond as they did when they were teenagers. It strikes me that sometimes this is also at the heart of marriage problems. Men and women are searching for this secret to staying young and as a result end up … Continue reading →

Is It Possible to Affair-Proof a Marriage?

On Oprah’s “Why Men Cheat Part 2” show, M. Gary Neuman offered three ways to affair-proof a marriage: 1. Appreciate your spouse more. In fact, make sure to appreciate your spouse as much as you possibly can. 2. Have sex. Make time for sex. Enjoy sex. (He suggested women are bad about receiving pleasure. Men are better at that. By nature they’re takers and we’re givers. We’re not comfortable receiving. Be it sexual pleasure or tokens of affection. Mr. Neuman said instead of saying “You shouldn’t have” when your husband gives you something, you should say, “Yes you should have … Continue reading →

Never Fess Up to an Affair?

Posted on by

My last article discussed my amazement to a new book to be released that actually finds the positive side of affairs. I would like to take this article to give some discussion to my beliefs about the book. While I have not actually read the book, I have looked into some excerpts from it and gotten a good idea how the author feels and her point of views on cheating. My first thought was that perhaps a book about the positive side of affairs is a good idea. However I was more thinking in terms of from the perspective of … Continue reading →

“When Good People Have Affairs”

Posted on by

Oh wow! Is this ever a new one in the books of marriage advice? Just recently author, Mira Kirshenbaum publishes what just may be one of the most controversial marriage books ever! Kirshenbaum is using her over 30 years of experience as a marriage therapist to conclude that indeed an affair may be just what a marriage needs! Yes you read it right! The title of her book, “When Good People Have Affairs” actually points out positive aspects that affairs can have on a marriage. While we all know that some marriages can indeed survive an affair and become stronger … Continue reading →

What To Do When You’ve Got a Crush on Someone Other Than Your Spouse

On my article Are Crushes Natural?, a reader left a comment about how she’s happily married but developed a big crush on someone else. She even tried to hook the guy up with an available friend, but that only made her think about him more. She admitted she knows she needs to stop thinking about him, but also that she hopes the friend and him decide not to see each other again. Yikes. That’s a tough situation to be in. Now some of you will take objection to that and say “If she’s so happily married, why would another man … Continue reading →