Tag Archives: authority

Are You Afraid of How Your Child will React?

There is no doubt that fear can be a great motivator—it can spur us on to do some things, while keeping us from trying others. As parents, we definitely wrestle with our share of fear—worrying about our child’s health and well being and taming both our irrational and rational fears. One area where fear does NOT help us be better parents is when we back off from doing what we should do because we are afraid of our child’s reaction. I do not know a single parent who actually enjoys being the “bad guy” or the one who has to … Continue reading →

Speak with Authority

I know that not a one of us knows everything, and when it comes to parenting, we are especially not the big know-it-alls we might wish we were. But, when it comes to motivating and directing our children (as well as advocating for our children with others), we need to speak with authority whenever we can. Hemming, hawing and being undecided only invites others to question whether we know what we’re talking about or whether we mean what we say. It is not unusual for even the best parents to feel insecure. After all, most of us are steering without … Continue reading →

Who is in Charge?

Who is really in charge in your household? While most families wrestle with authority and structure, for a single parent family it can be a bit more ambiguous than normal. If our children go between houses or we have been through a particularly tough time, the boundaries can get confusing. A child may have taken on more of a “parenting” role or if your former spouse made all the rules and had most of the authority before a separation or divorce, there may be a void now. As single parents, we do need to get control and make sure we … Continue reading →

There is a Difference between Explaining and Justifying

I try not to get into situations with my kids where I am justifying a parenting decision I have made. It inevitably ends up in an argument or a power struggle. This does not mean that I do not offer explanations and reasons for decisions or choices or rules, but there is a difference between offering an explanation, and trying to justify what you have done or are doing. An explanation might go something like this: “I need you to finish your homework early tonight because we are having company for dinner.” A simple explanation can also accompany a disciplinary … Continue reading →

Gospel Questions: Do Mormons Think They Have the Only True Church?

I do like to ask and answer the hard questions, don’t I? Well, this one is definitely a hotbed of debate. One of the concerns that people of other religions have about the LDS Church is that we seem to think we’re the only true church. Let me shed just a little more light on this. When Jesus Christ was on the earth, He set up His church the way He wanted it to be run. He had apostles, prophets, ordinances, the sacrament, priesthood authority, and He showed His disciples how to use all of them. When He died, and … Continue reading →

When Step-Parents Want to Tell You How to Parent

I have learned that for most of us, whatever side of the fence we are standing on, we think that our version is right. I think this is especially true when it comes to divorced and separated families. We live apart and we often live very different lives and how things look from our side seems right while what the “other parent” is doing may seem like it is wrong since it is not the same as us. When you add in the other parent’s new partner or step-parent, you may get even more versions of how a child should … Continue reading →

Balancing the Power in a Single Parent Family

Power struggles are an ongoing reality in all families—struggles between parents and children, struggles between siblings, and in two-parent homes, struggles between those two parents. In a single parent family, there might be times when it seems like we have less to wrestle with since there is clearly one parent and possibly less relationships to negotiate, but it can also be a bigger struggle since we have other houses, step parents, and some of us single parents are out-numbered by our offspring! Power is constantly shifting, but we can make an effort to put more balance into our households. Having … Continue reading →

Thinking Like a Parent, But with Empathy for the Child

Okay, here is your quiz question for the day: How well do you remember being a child? And, the follow-up questions: Are there certain ages you remember being better than others? Are there triggers that make it difficult for you to remember that you’re the parent now and NOT still a child? Most of us bring our childhood experiences with us into parenting and we either want to right the wrongs that were done to us, do things completely different than our parents did, or sustain a pretty good or idyllic childhood. As parents, however, we have to remind ourselves … Continue reading →

Who’s Going to Take My Side?

Chances are, if you are a single parent with more than one child, you often feel the reality of being out-numbered. With one child, you at least often have the 1:1 ration to contend with, but the minute a single parent has more than one, he or she is the minority. And this can take some strength, stubbornness and flexibility… My three children are pros at “ganging up on mom”—whether it is in an attempt to get me to an order a pizza or a boycott or riot for some other reason—it is seldom, if ever that someone takes my … Continue reading →

“I Don’t Have That Much Power”

To small children, we parents can seem pretty all-powerful. Even to older children, if we’ve done our job right of setting an example and providing a consistent and kind authority figure for our kids, they will likely think we have far more power and control over the world than we do. I think it helps to periodically remind them that we really DON’T have that much power and let them know what we parents can and cannot control. I never saw my parents as invincible, but I know that my children have a tendency to assume that I have more … Continue reading →