Tag Archives: behaviors

Are You The Same As You Were Before Marriage?

I only caught Part 2 of the Oprah “Why Men Cheat” controversy, but it’s sparking yet another blog. But instead of discussing why men cheat or how to affair-proof marriage, this time I’m going to talk about something else that was brought up as part of all this: behaving differently once married versus how you behaved prior to marriage. Behaviors During the show, Oprah defended M. Gary Neuman’s assessment that it made sense the husbands strayed because they weren’t getting something from their wives. Not that she was wagging her finger and saying, “Shame on you, you neglectful wives.” Quite … Continue reading →

When Children Regress, Part Two

Earlier today, I shared some of the reasons why children might regress in terms of their behavior. While some regression can be typical during times of stress, trauma and transition, more obvious physical regression that does not appear to be isolated or rooted in an event can signify a developmental disability and should be evaluated by a doctor. As a parent, you can start by trying some strategies to see if you can get a child back on track and then if things do not improve, you may want to contact a physician or child development specialist. There are a … Continue reading →

Is My Child Really Mean?

Biting, scratching, hair-pulling and general tantrums and tussles—what parent does not wonder if this is typical preschool behavior or if their child really is mean or a bully? It can be overwhelmingly upsetting when these aggressive behaviors appear and a parent has every right to worry about whether it is behaviors that will be outgrown, or whether the child really does have a mean streak. As parents, we know that aggression and violence are not to be tolerated. It can be surprising when a toddler or preschool starts using these aggressive behaviors in the home, day care or school situation. … Continue reading →

Can You Blame Them for Wanting Attention?

We parents tend to assume that when our children want our attention it is a “bad thing.” We talk about it like we have failed as parents or they are being overly-annoying as children and we just cannot understand why they want to act up to get our attention. When you think about it, however, can you really blame them for wanting attention? After all, isn’t that part of our job as parents to give our children plenty of love and attention? When our children act out to get us to notice them, maybe we should see that as a … Continue reading →

The Food-Throwing Stage

Inevitably, just about ever toddler reaches this milestone and goes through a period where throwing and dropping food is far more interesting than eating it. Many parents get frustrated and exasperated with pick up and clean up and worry that the child will starve to death if she does not eat the food or will get something dreadful if fed the food that has touched the floor. It can take some creativity and patience to get through the food-throwing stage. First, decide what your tolerance level is—some parents can tolerate letting a child drop or throw food without response and … Continue reading →

Is Your Discipline Different in Public Than at Home?

A hundred years ago, it was common for the more financial affluent families to have a parlor or a room in their house that was not used for the family but existed merely as a place to entertain. This room was better furnished, often cleaner, and may have been the only room in the house that was really decorated since it was the public face of the family. While it would be ridiculous for me to assume that there is not a difference between how we act in public and how we act when we are in our comfortable homes … Continue reading →

Are They Just Trying to Get Attention Again?!

A common response to a child’s troubling behavior is that he or she is “just trying to get attention!” I have found this to be an especially common assumption among those of the older generations. So, what IF a child is trying to get attention? Does that discredit his or her behavior? How much attention should we give our children before we are spoiling or enabling? Are there certain kinds of attention that are better than others? I learned many, many years ago from a wise mentor parent to pay attention to my triggers and responses to my children’s behaviors. … Continue reading →

Can You Ignore It?

A huge chunk of parenting is responding to our child’s behavior. While we may try to anticipate as much as we can, and even try to be an influencer and guide things in the direction we would like them to go, the truth is that often we are in response mode—responding to whatever crisis or behavior our child has come up with. Instead of responding and reacting to everything your child does, however, you might want to ask yourself if this is something you can possibly ignore? This can be such a tricky and sticky parenting technique—after all, we don’t … Continue reading →

Maybe it’s Not What You’re Saying, But How You Say It

Have you ever noticed how two people can say virtually the same thing in content, and one of those people will be more persuasive, communicative and memorable while the other person just doesn’t make the same impression? As a parent, I have wondered how I can say something to my kids, but it is not until a grandparent, teacher, or friend says the same thing in a different way that they actually listen. I have a tendency to think that it is not the message I am delivering but the method in which I’m trying to get my point across. … Continue reading →

Detachment vs. Responsibility as a Parent

I don’t know about you, but I never forget that I have the ultimate responsibility for my three kids as a parent (this is one of the main reasons I do not know how I am going to adjust in the next several months as they become adults and start to push out in the world.) I also know in my head and have learned how important it is to take a back seat and be detached from my children’s choices and personal decisions at times—but for me, it is an ongoing struggle to balance out the detachment from my … Continue reading →