Tag Archives: birthmother

Adoptive Mothers Breastfeeding? Yes!

Many people are surprised to learn that adoptive mothers can and do breastfeed. While pregnancy hormones are a help in producing a milk supply, what really starts the process of lactation is the action of the baby sucking on the nipples. Some adoptive mothers are able to totally breastfeed their children. Others whose milk supply is lower can still give their baby the unique nourishment in breastmilk while supplementing with formula. An adoptive mother wishing to breastfeed will need to prepare. In addition to learning everything she can about breastfeeding, she usually begins using a breast pump a few weeks … Continue reading →

Imaginary Birthmother’s Letter, Part One

I tried to imagine what my daughter’s birthmother might say to her if we were in contact now. I wrote down a letter as if from her point of view, and then decided to write a more generic version for this blog. Details have been changed, since it’s really my daughter’s story and not mine. Again this is my imagination from what I know of the circumstances of some birthmothers. It is not based on any particular birthmother. The letter begins: Dear little daughter, I hope that you are well. It is very cold here. Soon the moon will be … Continue reading →

The Fight for Isaiah

Posted on by

We were well on our way to adopting our oldest four boys in early July, 2004. We had the goodbye visit with their birth mother just before Christmas, so we had not seen her in over six months. Caleb was 18 months old and for some funny reason, we had started saying things like we had lost our baby. We had even told our adoption agency and the state that we might be willing to take another child. It was not so much an intention as it was our attitude. One morning, the phone rang and Nancy answered it. She … Continue reading →

A Birthmother’s Love

I kept reading and trying to understand. I had to wipe away tears and try to control sobs as I simply stood there staring at the words on the paper. It was all like a dream. Words that I had almost longed for my entire life, but that in some ways I had prepared myself to never hear, spelled out on this paper. “I’ve felt like a failure as a mother but my heart rejoices that at least I did right by you. Your card came at a very difficult time in my life – and I pray that you … Continue reading →

Adoptee’s Poetry – Looking Through The Glass

I thought I’d share another piece of poetry today. It’s been really awesome reliving some of the memories, and the feelings that were associated with my search and subsequent reunion. Obviously there is so much more to my story, that will come out over the next several months. I really hope that some of these pieces will give other adoptee’s a sense of peace. A glimmer of hope, that knowledge that somebody else has been there, and completely knows how you feel. “Looking through the glass” – Nicole Humphrey I’m looking for the key to a burning fear inside. I … Continue reading →

A Glimmer Of Hope

And then on October 28, 1996, my world changed forever. I went out to get the mail, and there amongst bills and ads, was a big white envelope addressed to me. I didn’t recognize the writing on the envelope but it was definitely a personal letter, and a rather thick one at that. I’m not even sure that I made it to the door with my envelope before I had torn into it. Inside the envelope I pulled out another purple envelope, again addressed to me. This one had a big red rubber stamped mark on it that said “Attempted, … Continue reading →

Healing A Broken Heart

It wasn’t all horrible from there, although it did get worse for awhile. Yes, I was very angry that my mother did not want contact with me. I was angry that she was trying to hide from giving me away. I was angry that she could turn her back a second time. However, positive things happened too. Over the course of the year that followed, I got to know my brother really well through several weekly letters in the mail, and a few weekly phone calls. We probably ran phone bills up frequently by spending hours on the phone. The … Continue reading →