Tag Archives: co-parenting

The Pros and Cons of Co-Parenting

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There are times when the “happily ever after” ends in divorce. When this happens, couples who are parents must sort out custody and visitation rights. Co-parenting is an option that may work out well for couples that can get along with each other post-divorce. There are also situations where co-parenting just isn’t going to work smoothly. Positive Aspects of Co-Parenting There is a celebrity example of what co-parenting looks like when it works well. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony split up in 2011. In 2015, they posted on Instagram a family photo from the birthday party of their 7-year-old twins. … Continue reading →

Co Parenting And Maintaining Sibling Relationships

It’s hard to be an only child, well, I imagine it is, I have four siblings so I don’t know firsthand. I’ve always felt bad that Hailey didn’t have a houseful of siblings, and then after I got divorced I felt even worse, the poor kid had to go through the divorce alone, no siblings to talk to about how she was feeling. Due to fertility issues I always knew Hailey would be my only child and she knew from a young age that she wouldn’t have any siblings because Mommy’s tummy is broken. Of course that didn’t stop her … Continue reading →

Our Dysfunctional Family

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Today we are celebrating Hailey’s graduation and 18th birthday. At no time is it more apparent that we are not a normal family than during these celebrations. We defiantly put the fun in dysfunctional. The party will be at our house, Hailey will be surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins and friends, in addition to her core family. I will be there, of course, as will her father. Also in attendance will be her two year old sister and her mother. Hailey’s current stepmother will be there, as will one of her father’s ex girlfriends. My daughter loves these people. No … Continue reading →

Be Nice!

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Why is it that divorce makes us forget how fragile our children are? I firmly believe that in most cases our kids are more resilient than we realize, but when it comes to their parents, that’s not the case. We seem to be a society of fragmented families, so many people get divorced now. It doesn’t have to be all bad, sometimes a divorce was very necessary and everyone, including the children, is better off because of the divorce. So why are we still so bitter? I was listening recently to a friend recount her boyfriend’s interaction with his ex. … Continue reading →

Happy Graduation Baby Girl!

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Yesterday my daughter graduated from high school. When I got divorced graduation seemed so far away, I was more concerned with who would watch her in the summer and for school holidays. It seemed like forever until I didn’t need a babysitter so I could work. Graduation wasn’t even a thought. The time has flown by. My baby bird is now a young adult. On graduation day and all of Hailey’s special occasions I am so glad her father and I have been able to remember what is important- our daughter. Hailey was able to share her day with both … Continue reading →

Prelude To An Empty Nest

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Friday. For so long it was my favorite day. Friday meant I got to spend two full, uninterrupted days with my family. Since my divorce, Friday has become something else entirely. Every other Friday morning I kiss my daughter good bye, knowing that her father will pick her up before I get off work and it will be two long days before I see her again. I try to drag the work day out. Searching for unfinished projects that need my immediate attention. Anything to make the work day as long as possible and delay going home to an empty … Continue reading →

The On-again, Off-again Parent

While there are some single parents who have very involved exes or other parents, and some of you have mastered the art of co-parenting and could probably teach the rest of us a thing or two—many of us have less than perfect co-parenting arrangements. They might range anywhere from the completely absent “other parent” to one who shows up and disappears seemingly at random. Dealing with the on-again, off-again other parent can be hard on the child and challenging for the primary parent… The thing about the on-again, off-again parent is that you cannot really complain or accuse him or … Continue reading →

When the Other Parent Doesn’t Play by the Same Rules–Part Two

Yesterday, I touched on the subject of dealing with different operating agenda for two separate parents–you may have certain ideas about what sort of “rules” should apply to sharing custody and raising your child, and the other parent may have separate standards. While it can be incredibly frustrating and, at times, you may feel tempted to stoop to a lower level–you can hold out and stay the course with your idea of how you should act. You will never be able to control the other parent’s behavior–but you can set expectations and guidelines around your own behavior and parenting choices. … Continue reading →

When the Other Parent Doesn’t Play by the Same Rules–Part One

I have been writing a short little series on neutrality and sharing some tips for how to stay or appear neutral–even when you are not necessarily “feeling it” on the inside. One of the issues that can come up in co-parenting, single parenting, or sharing custody with an ex is that the other parent may very well NOT play by the same rules that you do… Perhaps you are like me, you’ve read several books on single parenting and you have set out to do the best job possible–providing healthy boundaries and making sure that you at least try to … Continue reading →

The Challenges of Staying Neutral–Part One

We’ve all heard it a hundred times–how important it is to stay neutral and not bash on the other parent. We KNOW in our heads how we need to remain as detached and “middle-ground” as possible, all while being compassionate and committed parents. It can be a lot easier to stay neutral in theory than it is to do it in real life! The divorced parents, or the two-household family seems to be a perfect set-up for diverse ideas about parenting and with all the waters that have run under the bridge, it can be so hard to be mellow … Continue reading →