Tag Archives: compromise

Marriages Need Compromise

I think one of the most difficult things to do in a marriage, or in any relationship, is to compromise. Compromise means you are willing to do your part to make something work. It often requires that you give something up. Last week was one where compromise was greatly tested. My husband took a week of vacation, more or less just to use it up, along with the fact that our kids were on their first week of summer break. However I was not on break, so I still had a full workload. Of course, working from home has a … Continue reading →

Would You Compromise Your Beliefs for a Pregnancy Craving?

I just read an interview with Tiffani Thiessen, a long time vegetarian, in which she expresses remorse over indulging in her pregnancy craving: red meat. Pregnancy cravings are strange like that. They often completely contradict our normal preferences. For one, where I had always loved hamburgers, I could not stand the site of beef while pregnant. I never thought much of unsweetened decaf tea before I was pregnant, but it was one of the only things I drank during my first two trimesters. Those were just my preferences, though; they weren’t based on any kind of moral standards I held … Continue reading →

Who Sets the Agenda in Marriage?

Having your own agenda can be problematic in a marriage. It often means you are so focused on what you want to do and achieve that you ignore the feelings of those closest to you, which is you spouse and family. Where two people in a marriage each have their own agenda, it can then becomes a contest of wills to see who will prevail or it ends up in the man and woman living independent lives that hardly ever connect. This is not what marriage was intended to be. Marriage is meant to be a sharing of ourselves, our … Continue reading →

How to Say No

As I mentioned earlier, I’m feeling bad about having said no to a few commitments this week. I love my friends, and enjoy helping them, and don’t like to feel like I’m letting them down. But sometimes, you just have to say no. Sometimes you’re over-committed, sometimes it’s just something you don’t want to do, sometimes you just can’t fit it into your schedule. Still, all those reasons don’t necessarily make it any easier to say no — especially when it’s a friend doing the asking. Here are some tips to help make it a little easier to say no. … Continue reading →

Marriage Means Adjustments

Being married means making adjustments. It means adapting to living with another person and considering, and where possible accommodating their interests, likes and dislikes as well as your own. This is important in bed as well as in other places. When we first got married Mick said, ‘Why do you want to chat as soon as we get into bed?’ Having talking to a number of women it’s something more than a few of us are guilty of. I suspect it’s because when we get into bed, we start to replay the day in our minds. We’re thinking about what … Continue reading →

Marriage is Give and Take

Marriage requires give and take from both parties. Sometimes that may mean doing something you are not overly fond of because your spouse wants to do it. Other times it may mean reaching a compromise. This week My Sister’s Keeper started in Australia and I wanted to see it, because I loved the book. It is one I often use as an example of point of view and using different characters to tell a story. The other reason was because I was reviewing it for the media section of families.com. Even though he admitted he wasn’t that keen on seeing … Continue reading →

When Opposites Collide

There are some people in life who like to have everything mapped out to know what they are doing and when. Others like to be spontaneous and just go with the flow, not planning but doing things as the mood takes them. What happens when the two of these meet and fall in love? It can make for interesting times. It might even be one of the character traits that initially attracts one person to another but then come marriage it could turn into a major problem unless you find a way to resolve it. I admit I tend to … Continue reading →

Too Agreeable in a Marriage?

Can you be too agreeable in a marriage? I’m inclined to think you can and it sets up a recipe for boredom. Yes, it’s great to be in sync with your spouse and agree on most things or even some things. It’s especially important to be in agreement on the major issues, like raising children, discipline, core values, beliefs, family issues, finances, etc. It makes for a harmonious marriage. So does having common interests. But it’s not helpful to agree on every opinion and every interest. The person, who never has an opinion or makes a decision of their own, … Continue reading →

Choosing A Name for Baby

Choosing a name for your baby can be fun. Or it can end up as a nightmare. Firstly the couple needs to decide if they want to use the name of any family members either as first names or second names. One thing we were agreed on was that we didn’t like the idea of a child having the same name as a parent, even though I love the name Michael, which I think is a romantic sounding name. Mick doesn’t. like it. That was a compromise I had to make when we started going together. Each time Mick and … Continue reading →

Who Needs to Change?

Sometimes I’ve heard young women talking about the guy they’re going to marry and they will make the comment. ‘I’ll soon change him once we’re married.’ Can I suggest such a relationship is heading from trouble from the outset? For ages after we were first married, I tried to convince Mick it was better to get up and let me make him breakfast before he went off to work. But to him another half hour in bed was more valuable than eating breakfast. I had to accept I wasn’t going to change him, even if I did think it was … Continue reading →