Tag Archives: conflict

It’s the Little Stuff That Causes Discord

Have you ever noticed that it’s the little stuff that can make us crazy? When I think back to the past almost 20 years of marriage, I am amazed by the huge obstacles we have overcome. It seems like we have defied odds at times and come through some pretty difficult circumstances. Yet it’s the little stuff that can creep up and become mountains. It’s the little stuff that can cause discord. We let small annoyances, pet peeves and bad habits rule our mood. Forget the fact that we overcame the loss of a child through miscarriage…my goodness, if that … Continue reading →

Are You a Ride or Die Woman?

Are you a ride or die woman? I watched an infuriating episode of Dr. Phil last week that was on this topic. A ride or die woman is basically one who stays by her man no matter what. While that sounds great and I am definitely all for keeping a marriage together, there are limits. The woman on this show was refusing to leave her husband who had cheated on her numerous times. There was also no indication that he would stop. Yet she wasn’t willing to leave him because she loves him and she didn’t want her son to … Continue reading →

Argument with Teen Ends in Mom Hitting Her with Car

Have you seen the video of the Ohio mom who ran over her daughter’s foot in a Walmart parking lot? It is quite disturbing. Apparently the mom and 19-year-old daughter had been arguing, when her daughter got out of the vehicle. The mom says her intentions were to slap her daughter in the face as she drove past her. However, she ended up hitting her with the car instead. While I cannot imagine for the life of me ever doing something like that…here is where I can somewhat relate to the mom. The mother must have been feeling a great … Continue reading →

What Do You Bicker About?

Is there a difference between fighting and bickering? I really think there is. I equate fighting to be dealing with “big” issues. You know, things like raising the children, how money is spent and so forth. But I equate bickering with the “little” stuff, such as leaving the cap off the toothpaste or who gets to drive. Fighting means you have some serious issues to deal with. This requires a lot more work, perhaps even some counseling to get through it. These are issues that took time to build up and will take time to solve. However with bickering, you … Continue reading →

Feeling Disconnected

Most marriages will go through a time where you feel disconnected from one another. Sometimes this lasts a couple of days but in some cases it can last several weeks or even months. The feeling of disconnection is an awful one. Throughout our married years we have gone through different spurts where this has happened. It leaves you with a sick feeling in your stomach and the worry that you won’t make it through that time. I think it helps to know that most marriages do experience this at one time or another. Last week was one of those times … Continue reading →

How to Argue with Integrity

Whenever I hear couples brag that they never argue I’m actually not impressed. First of all, I find it hard to believe but even if it is true, I actually don’t think that is healthy. We all have to eventually address difficult issues in our lives. Now of course I’m not saying that you should be having some good knock-down, drag-it-out fights. However I do believe you can argue with integrity. Think about what the word integrity means. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary it means a “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.” I really like the … Continue reading →

Agreeing to Disagree

Sometimes in a marriage all you can do is agree to disagree. There are some topics that both the husband and wife may feel very strongly about and there may be no possibility of changing the other’s mind. That’s okay. That is what makes us unique. While it’s not a novel concept I do think it is one that is overlooked far too often, agreeing to disagree. It’s almost in the nature to want to “convince” someone that we are right or that they should see our side. I’m afraid that I spent way too many married years doing this. … Continue reading →

Should I homeschool without my husband’s consent?

Recently, the question was posed, “Should I homeschool without my husband’s consent?” Many times the wife is motivated to homeschool while her husband is against the idea. This issue can cause feelings of frustration and stress which can manifest into arguments. Like the mouse with the cookie, this leads to fighting and the fighting leads to insecure children and that leads to a long line of making independent decisions which continues to erode at a marriage. Due to this snowball effect, my answer is that homeschooling is not an option unless both parents are on board. Homeschooling is a massive … Continue reading →

Thinking About Marrying An Unbeliever?

Thinking about marrying an unbeliever? Think again. Think long and hard, because it is setting yourself up for a hard time. So why shouldn’t you marry an unbeliever? Firstly, if you are a Christian, it goes against what the bible, which is the Christian’s guideline for living and the Maker’s manual, teaches. 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, says ‘Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light and Darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?’ Christians are called to be obedient … Continue reading →

7 Cs to Avoid in Marriage

Yesterday I wrote about 7 Cs you need in a marriage. Today I’m going to concentrate on 7 Cs you need to be wary of and try and eliminate in a marriage. Complacency If you have a good marriage the temptation could be to become complacent and think you have it made and so no longer have to work at you marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. Complacency is a slippery slope to other problems. We never want to take a good marriage, if we have it, for granted. Complaining Some people just seem to have a knack … Continue reading →