Tag Archives: feelings

Don’t Try to Talk Them Out of Feelings

Can there be anything more aggravating than having someone try to tell you that you are not “really” upset or that you are NOT actually feeling the way you know yourself to be feeling? And yet, as parents, we often do this to our children. We negate their emotions or try to convince them that things cannot be nearly as bad as they “imagine” or that their feelings are wrong, inappropriate or inconvenient. What sort of a message is this sending to our children? Our children need to learn how to identify and claim their feelings and they won’t be … Continue reading →

Children Get Lonely Too

As single parents, we can get wrapped up in focusing on our own emotions, recovery and socializing issues. We might overlook the fact that loneliness can be a universal feeling and our child or children might be experiencing some loneliness too… Many of us look back and think of childhood as a time that is free from all sorts of grown-up worries and concerns, we might forget that there are a great many very strong emotions felt by the average child—let alone a child who has gone through any sort of crisis or loss. A child who has been through … Continue reading →

Dealing with the “Not Enough” Feelings

As single parents, many of us feel stretched and pulled in a thousand directions. Most of us really do want to be all that we can be and this means a great parent, a good friend or romantic partner, a solid and valued worker or employee, a positive citizen, etc. Unfortunately, many of us also wrestle with feelings constantly that we are “not enough”; that we will somehow never measure up to the expectations of others or ever be adequate enough to receive approval, love, acceptance, etc. As most of you know, I am not a psychologist or therapist or … Continue reading →

Strong Parent Emotions Can be Scary

It is not uncommon or unhealthy for us single parents to experience some really strong emotions–whether we are in the midst of a separation or a divorce, or have been through the death of a spouse–strong emotions are really part of the package. It is important to remember, however, that for children, our bubbling over and erupting with strong emotions can be a very scary experience. I have written before about how are children need to be able to trust that we have things under control and that we are in charge. Of course, it is only human that we … Continue reading →

“Mom, I’m in a Funk”

My kids are getting increasingly verbal, expressive and creative in the ways they talk to me. Instead of my having to try to pry things out of them or figure out what might be going on, they are getting better at telling me (when they want to) what is going down. While there is still plenty of adolescent moodiness and I know there are certainly plenty of things that they have no intention of talking to me about, they also do sometimes tell me when things are going awry. Instead of the “Leave me Alone!” that reverberated a couple years … Continue reading →

What “Feels” Right?

Going through a difficult time or a big period of transition can have the affect of causing us to close ourselves off from our intuition or feelings. We turn to other “experts” and attempt to get some order into what can feel like an incredibly chaotic life. Once the dust settles, however, it might be time to get back in touch with our gut instincts. As single parents, we need to be able tap into our feelings and figure out what “feels” like the right choices and the right way to parent our own unique child. I really do believe … Continue reading →

Dealing With a Child’s Resentment

Resentment can be a rather toxic emotion—both for the person stuck in a swirl of resentment and for the person on the other side of it. When our child is harboring resentment about something that might have happened or is feeling resentful toward us—it can be hard to take, but there are ways of coping and helping our child through a tough emotional time. What might make a child feel resentful? Well, if a child feels slighted or as if he or she hasn’t gotten a fair share of something, or he might be upset over something that has happened … Continue reading →

Expressing Frustration

Here’s the thing—I have three high-school aged teenagers, each of them is one year apart in school and a little more than one year apart in age. I love them, I adore them, I am often inspired by them—but they have a regular tendency to frustrate the living daylights out of me! I would like to go on record that I think it is perfectly appropriate and healthy for a parent to be able to express her frustration at her charges and offspring now and again… According to all the experts, in all in the HOW we express ourselves to … Continue reading →

10 Tips For Combating Negative Feelings And Improving Your Quiet Time

Sometimes when I pray, Lord I feel no-one is listening. You seem to be so far away And I feel I can’t reach You. I feel my prayers are doing nothing more Than bouncing off the ceiling. I wrote these words years ago at a low time in my life. It was published in Decision magazine, which made me think the editors of that magazine thought it was something other people would relate to. Have you ever felt like this? If you have, what can you do about it? The first instinct is to conclude there is no point and … Continue reading →

Deal With Your Own Feelings First

If you have ever traveled on an airplane, you know that you are told that should an emergency arise, you should put on your own oxygen mask first, before attending to your child. For many of us parents, this seems counter-intuitive. Aren’t we trained and conditioned to meet our child’s needs first and then look after our own? The point, of course, it that unless we are healthy and stable, we will not be able to look after our child’s needs. When a major crisis, event or difficult time occurs in a family, a parent needs to figure out and … Continue reading →