Tag Archives: nagging

Living with Engineers: It’s All in the Timing

Another engineer’s wife and I were having a discussion about household chores yesterday.  We were bemoaning the fact that if we want our husbands to do something for us, we either need to tell them right away, or it won’t happen at all. The engineer’s mind is a constant one-way track of processing information.  It’s what makes them so brilliant and efficient: they zero in on a task, giving it their complete focus until it’s done.  I’m almost always thinking about other things while I’m working on something, which is why it can take me longer to achieve something with … Continue reading →

Biblical and Practical Wisdom about Marriage

The bible has a lot of practical wisdom about marriage. I thought I’d share some of it with you. ‘Through presumption comes nothing but strife, but with those who receive counsel is wisdom,’ Proverbs 13:10 This certainly applies to both husbands and wives. We should never presume to know what our spouse is thinking or how they will react. We need to talk it through – not presume. There are times when our spouse will surprise us. Here are some others that specifically mention wives but I suspect they could apply equally as well to husbands ‘The contentions of a … Continue reading →

Essentials for a Happy Lasting Marriage -Part 2

Yesterday I looked at five essentials for a happy lasting marriage. Today I am continuing with another five essentials. 6. Forgiveness Married life isn’t always go to go along smoothly. We all do things wrong and things that hurt or upset our spouse. It’s how we choose to deal with those things that is important. We can hold grudges and sulk but it never achieves anything, or we can choose to forgive them and move on. Forgiveness doesn’t just happen. It is a choice, a decision of willingness to forgive. The old adage about not going to bed angry is … Continue reading →

Men Don’t Nag

One of the interesting things here in the Marriage Blog is that Dale and I often find ourselves thinking about the same things. I was just about to write a post about nagging, when Dale beat me to it! This is a good thing, because it really helped me to think about the issue a little more. Dale made some great points about nagging. Many studies have shown that nagging doesn’t work. The person being nagged tends to tune it out, and the person nagging doesn’t really believe that things will change, even if she can’t stop nagging. Yes, notice … Continue reading →

The Price of Nagging

Be warned – nagging comes at a price. Yesterday’s headlines carried the story of a man in the UK who offered his nagging wife, who he married only last year, for sale. Apparently he claims that he did it as a joke. But the sad and scary thing is he actually had a number of people ringing up about his ad. What does this say about our society and views about marriage about people? Are we going back to the days when women were considered a commodity to be bought and sold at will like a piece of household furniture? … Continue reading →

Making a New Year’s Resolution for Marriage

This is a good time to reflect and take stock and make resolutions that will improve the quality of your marriage. I loved this recipe for beauty in Zaphon a writing newsletter I periodically receive. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed – never throw out anyone. As you grow older, you will discover that you … Continue reading →

Nagging is Not the Answer

We know this–as parents, we know that nagging is not the way to get our children do what we think they need to do, and yet we just cannot help ourselves. When I was writing earlier today about how to manage reminders as a parent, I realized that there is a difference between a reminder or reminding our children of something and nagging. A reminder can be made without emotion or annoyance, while nagging is quite different altogether. Just think of what the word means: to ask repeatedly in an annoying and persistent way, to complain, criticize or pester someone … Continue reading →

How Many Reminders?

I find reminders and reminding to be one of those grey areas of parenting–do we remind our children until they do what we need them to? Do we put a limit on how many times we are going to remind them? Is there a grace period? Do we mix it up and use notes, signs, and verbal reminders? What is the right way to go about managing and issuing those annoying reminders? The best advice I ever heard was from an experienced mom who suggested getting to a detached place where I could remind my kids without getting emotional or … Continue reading →

Bringing Your Spouse to Christ

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A friend of mine shared her struggles with me of trying to help her husband desire a relationship with Jesus. They met during a time neither of them knew the Lord; while they’d been using illegal drugs. My friend worked to stay grounded in church upon receiving Christ and became over eager to convert her husband. This seemed to cause him to resist her. He thought she’d really lost it. The more she backed off the more open he was to supporting her (as he saw it) by going to Easter and Christmas services. My husband was not a believer … Continue reading →

Marriage Communication: Nagging Doesn’t Work

Nagging doesn’t work – no matter how well intentioned you are or how frustrated you may be – just nagging your spouse about chores, bills, responsibilities or whatever it is you are wanting them to do – well, it doesn’t work. Now, before you tell me that when you constantly remind them to do something, they do in fact do it – this makes your form of nagging successful, let me counter that with this question: If you didn’t nag them the next time, would they remember? Chances are, once you’ve created the cycle where you remind your spouse to … Continue reading →