Tag Archives: power struggles

Following Through

My son has suddenly turned into a picky eater. He didn’t used to be, but lately he’s spent the majority of picking out all the things he claims he doesn’t like, which is just about everything. It’s become quite a battle at the dinner table. What’s worse, he’s decided he thinks he’s in charge and doesn’t have to listen to mom anymore. If she says, “No candy until you eat your dinner,” he simply says he’ll just have it anyway. Where did this stubborn streak come from anyway? You can’t win with him; he can argue with you for hours … Continue reading →

Sudden Power Struggles with the Ex

Things may be going along nicely in your co-parenting relationship; you may have worked out a communication style that suits the both of you, you might even get along with your ex’s new partner and everyone seems content and well-adjusted. Suddenly, without warning, tempers flare and you find yourself in and power struggle or dealing with long-buried old issues that have shown up again. What can you do to diffuse the situation? I have learned to expect “flare-ups” during times of stress or transition—when the kids entered high school, for example, or with the current graduations. Any time you are … Continue reading →

Tooth Brushing Battles

For some families, brushing teeth and dental care becomes one of those ongoing power struggles. It might start when kids are young—babies even—and continue on, or it might be something that pops up as children become more independent. What can be done to combat or end the tooth brushing battles? I have a confession to make—I never brushed my children’s teeth for them. When they were infants, I did wipe out their mouths with a clean cloth during bath time, but once they could sit up for baths and had the finger dexterity, I let them hold their own toothbrush … Continue reading →

When Baths are a Battle

When you welcomed your child into your home, you may have had idyllic ideas about the joys of bath time–perhaps you imagined a cherubic baby, all a-glow and splashing gleefully in the tub. The truth is however, that some children do not like baths, and for some parents, bath time becomes a struggle and a battle and ANYTHING but fun. What can be done? Several months ago, I touched on the subject of expecting children’s attitudes about bathing to change over time and that sometimes they might be into it and at other times they might not. For some children, … Continue reading →

Maybe it’s Not What You’re Saying, But How You Say It

Have you ever noticed how two people can say virtually the same thing in content, and one of those people will be more persuasive, communicative and memorable while the other person just doesn’t make the same impression? As a parent, I have wondered how I can say something to my kids, but it is not until a grandparent, teacher, or friend says the same thing in a different way that they actually listen. I have a tendency to think that it is not the message I am delivering but the method in which I’m trying to get my point across. … Continue reading →

When Arguing Becomes the Norm

Some children are argumentative by nature, but even the most docile child can go through argumentative stages. It can come as a bit of a shock to a parent who has had an easy-going child to suddenly have them talking back and picking arguments with parents, siblings and adults. To a certain extent, learning how to say “no” and mean it can be a developmental leap, but arguing older kids (adolescents) can be incredibly challenging. When arguing is a stage or phase, I think it helps as a parent to avoid getting into power struggles. It can be tough, we … Continue reading →

Balancing the Power in a Single Parent Family

Power struggles are an ongoing reality in all families—struggles between parents and children, struggles between siblings, and in two-parent homes, struggles between those two parents. In a single parent family, there might be times when it seems like we have less to wrestle with since there is clearly one parent and possibly less relationships to negotiate, but it can also be a bigger struggle since we have other houses, step parents, and some of us single parents are out-numbered by our offspring! Power is constantly shifting, but we can make an effort to put more balance into our households. Having … Continue reading →

Nail Biting–Do You Battle or Cope?

I know for a fact that not every child is a nail biter because of my three kids; one of them has never bitten his nails. This is an incredibly common “bad habit,” however, and one that some parents fight hard to combat. But, can you as a parent actually stop a child from biting his or her nails or is it just something they will need to outgrow? There have been times when I haven’t wondered that nail biting is some sort of natural human/mammal behavior that just hasn’t been bred out of us yet with evolution. I’m sure … Continue reading →

Why Kids Misbehave

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Why do kids misbehave? This is the age-old question parents have asked themselves since the dawn of time. In, Raising Great Kids in a Tough World, four typical reasons kids misbehave are identified. They are for attention, power, revenge and assumed inadequacy. Attention Kids crave attention and don’t care if the attention is negative or positive. Kids may misbehave when there is a new sibling or when parents spend too much time working or in activities that exclude the child. Tyler has remarked to me several times that he wished I would get a “regular” job so that I don’t … Continue reading →

Identify Your Triggers

There is a great deal of psychology that goes along with parenting–and it is not just child psychology. We have to dig down and understand some of our own issues and personal psychology in order to be effective, present, parents. It is quite easy to blame our children for all the tussles and miscommunication, but the fact is, we bring our own triggers and issues into our interactions with our children too. If you can identify your own triggers, you may be able to maintain control and be less likely to get into power struggles with your children. Additionally, owning … Continue reading →