Tag Archives: saying no

Children Can Cause Problems

Children can be a great blessing, but they can also cause problems between you and your spouse if you are not careful. Children are very quick to pick up on ways to play one parent off against the other. It’s not just something that happens in a blended family but in any family. Talking to friends recently, one remarked that most of their arguments were about the children. Even in a couple there will be different ideas about what appropriate behavior is and what it is not. A lot of that might depend on the way you or your spouse … Continue reading →

Letting Children Grow Up Too Fast

“Can I have a cell phone for my birthday?” “How old do I have to be before I can date?” “Can I hang out at the park with my friend?” “Can I get a Facebook page?” These are all questions that a child of mine has asked in the past week. The scary thing is he will be turning 11 years old this upcoming weekend. He is barely a tween. I am sure it is hard being the youngest. To have to sit back and watch your older brother and sister get more privileges can’t be easy. I am trying … Continue reading →

How to Say No

As I mentioned earlier, I’m feeling bad about having said no to a few commitments this week. I love my friends, and enjoy helping them, and don’t like to feel like I’m letting them down. But sometimes, you just have to say no. Sometimes you’re over-committed, sometimes it’s just something you don’t want to do, sometimes you just can’t fit it into your schedule. Still, all those reasons don’t necessarily make it any easier to say no — especially when it’s a friend doing the asking. Here are some tips to help make it a little easier to say no. … Continue reading →

Saying No Can Be Good for Your Health (and Sanity)

I hate saying no. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel like I’m letting someone down. To the recipient of the no, it’s probably not that big a deal. They find someone else to ask, and maybe that someone else says yes. Or they find out that they didn’t really need help after all, and get it done without help. My schedule is getting a little crazy this week. I’ve had plans for this Friday for a few weeks now, but suddenly I’ve been asked for my time on Thursday and Saturday, too. … Continue reading →

What I Learned From My Husband

Are you a person who has difficulty saying ‘no’ when asked to do something or go somewhere you don’t want to go? Do you end making all sorts of excuses about why you can’t do whatever it is you are being asked to do? Then this is the blog for you. I used to be like that. I used to let other’s expectations get in the way and at times tie me up in knots. And then I watched my husband handle a similar situation and realized he never had the problems I did. If asked to do something he … Continue reading →

Spreading Yourself Too Thin

Show me a dedicated single parent who does not have a tendency to burn the candle at both ends and I confess I will be a little surprised. Perhaps I am making a generalization here; surely there are plenty of single parent who are not maxed out in terms of obligation and responsibility but for those of us who have a tendency to try to be everywhere and do everything—we run the risk of spreading ourselves too thinly. The thing about getting yourself spread out too thinly is that it can either happen gradually (in which case you may not … Continue reading →

What Are You Teaching Your Children Through TV?

How much influence does your TV have on your children? We can teach them certain attitudes and values at home but chances are that many of the attitudes and values they see on TV shows will be counterproductive to what we are trying to teach them. In some homes the TV seems goes on first thing in the morning and says on till the last person is in bed at night. The TV is on during meals and when visitors come. It appears many people forget TVs come with an off switch. They sit and complain about the shows on … Continue reading →

Saying “No” to Unreasonable Expectations

We do not have to do it all. There, I’ve said it again (I know for a fact that I have stated this mantra before). As single parents, we might be tempted to get roped in to trying to meet other’s unreasonable expectations—we are so determined to do a good job and juggle our responsibilities that it may not dawn on us that we are being asked to take on too much or expected to take on inappropriate problems, tasks, or situations. This is where we have to learn how to just say “No.” I know full well that it … Continue reading →

Turning Down a Referral

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I’d somehow always thought I’d adopt a child with a physical special need. My husband and I were open to correctable medical conditions. On the photolistings most agencies maintain, we saw the profile of a little girl with congenital cataracts and a cleft palate. I’d seen her pictures before, then she disappeared from the case studies for a while and I assumed she’d been adopted. When she reappeared after our homestudy was complete, it seemed like a sign. The cleft palate was treatable. She would likely see with coke-bottle thick glasses until she was a teenager when she would have … Continue reading →

Do You Hate Telling Your Spouse No?

It doesn’t matter what the question is, but more often as not, when we have to tell our spouse no, we don’t like having to do it. It may be no I don’t have enough time to run that errand for you or no we don’t have enough money to buy a new washer, we’ll just have to settle for fixing the old one. Or even worse, no we can’t go to that event or this one because we’ve got other obligations here or there. Saying No is Hard When you’re the one to say no – you feel like … Continue reading →