How many times are we tempted to say something negative about our kids when we introduce them to others? Or, if someone gives them a compliment we say, “Thanks, but…” We have to throw some criticism in there. Why is that? I recently had a friend do this when someone complimented their child on how they played their musical instrument at a recital. My friend said “thanks”, but then proceeded to tell the person who gave the compliment how their child didn’t practice as much as they should have and that it could have been better. How hard is it for us to say thanks, and just shut up!
I saw someone recently talk about this idea of practicing introducing your child and just saying something positive about them. Something like, “this is my daughter, Erica.” “She is great kid, and loves to help her mom and dad around the house when she is not busy with her after school activities.” “She is a great swimmer.” “She won first place in last years regional swim finals for her high school.”
Notice I did not say she’s too busy to help around the house and she forgot to do the dishes last night, AGAIN. No, I said that she helps out when she can. I focused on the positive. This forces me to think of my child in a new light that accentuates her good qualities – the ones I want to nurture and develop. The more I dwell on the negative it tends to create a self fulfilling prophecy.
Think about it for a moment. If you were your child, which introduction would you prefer to remember? Our words have the power to motivate and encourage our children. They also have the power to cause irreparable harm to their self esteem and development, and your relationship. Why not say something to help them grow and develop confidence in themselves. That’s what parents are supposed to do.