Sometimes you go on a spiritual quest that your spouse supports, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you’re in the same spiritual boat as your spouse, sometimes you’re not.
Because of the big changes our marriage has incurred recently due to my mom moving in with us, lately Wayne and I have been having a lot of discussions about my spiritual beliefs. Why just mine? Because Wayne has fewer than I do. Also, mine tend to guide my decisions, and Wayne doesn’t always agree with the decisions I make. (i.e. If you read my article in which I examined control issues, interpret him not agreeing with him believing I make “wrong” decisions because they’re not what he would make.)
Take the fender bender I wrote about in Guilty Until Proven Innocent: A Husband’s Issue with Blame. I hadn’t called the cops. I had no witnesses to back me up. Wayne was sure the insurance company was going to give me the run around, not want to pay the claim, and in general screw me.
I, on the other hand, believed all would work out.
So far it has. The other driver claimed full responsibility. Luckily we both had the same insurance agency. (Heck, luckily the other driver even had insurance!) I went to get my damage estimate and right there and then they cut me a check to go get it fixed. I’ll also get a rental car for the period I’m without my wheels. And if the repair amount comes to more than the check amount, the auto body shop simply calls the insurance company and they cover it.
Wayne was stunned. (There is good reason he was suspicious in the first place. Any time he’s been in a wreck he’s had to fight with the insurance companies.)
“How did you luck out?”
“Because I didn’t expect it not to work any differently.”
He rolled his eyes, because what I was really saying was: I believed Spirit (the word I prefer instead of “God”) would look out for me and low and behold that’s what happened.
That drives Wayne nuts. He can’t put his faith in the unseen and believe everything will work out as it should, yet that’s how I live my whole life.
Yet, more often than not everything truly does work out just fine. Most times even better than I could hope in fact.
Yet, again and again he’s amazed and wants to know why. Again and again I keep telling him it’s because I’m applying the two most powerful lessons I’ve learned thus far:
1) to tend my thoughts carefully because I know I’ll attract what I think about (both good and bad things), and
2) if I ask, believe, and receive, whatever I think about will come to me.
Sarah Ban Breathnach first introduced me to these concepts in her remarkable writings, then Dr. Wayne Dyer reinforced it in 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, then I found the theme again reiterated in The Secret, and once more in Ask and It Is Given. I figured if it was cropping up that much there must be something to it and I should take heed. I did, and have never been happier.
Wayne wants to believe, but he can’t suspend his disbelief long enough to trust it will all work out. I guess because he’s also not willing to accept it might not work out the way he expects, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t worked out.
Still, even though he’s skeptical, he encourages me to share my beliefs with him. And as for me, well…I’d like for us to one day be on the same spiritual wavelength, but if it’s not meant to happen I’m okay with that too.
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