I’m afraid of horses. No, I wasn’t a horsey girl at all. Horses are big and they can throw you or step on your feet. I know that horses are lovely animals, but I am still nervous around them. I think that this is sensible. Others might think that this is a little ridiculous.
The same goes for all of our fears. It’s easy to think of others’ fears as a little ridiculous. You don’t own those fears. Maybe your preschooler is afraid of the thunder, like mine is. Of course, you know that thunder won’t hurt you, even if the lightning might. Or perhaps your preschooler has an oddball fear. My daughter is currently petrified of getting her shoes muddy. This seems ridiculous to me, but I have to accept this as a legitimate fear.
How can you create calm around certain issues in your home? I tend to err on the side of acceptance without coddling. Yes, my daughter is afraid of mud. This means that I might quietly point out a path around a muddy area, or I might carry her across a mud puddle if it is very deep. At a time when we’re not in the heat of the moment, we might have a discussion about why she’s afraid of that particular thing, but I try not to shine a light on the fear in case this makes her focus more intently on that fear.
I also try to avoid pushing her to conquer her fear. A calm approach is more my style. This means that we don’t have power struggles when we’re facing a mud puddle. I just point out the path beside the puddle. It may seem that I acquiesce to her wishes and carry her a little too often, and this may be the case. My thought is that by avoiding the push, she will move through the fear when she is ready, as long as I calmly support her.
How do you deal with your child’s fears?
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