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Arguments: Are Yours Good or Bad?

I have never known two people that spend a significant amount of time together and never have an argument. While it is true that some partners argue much less than others, there are times in everyone’s relationship when differences arise.

I can recall one episode of Friends when Monica and Chandler were dating. After their first fight, Chandler thinks that the relationship is over. Monica has to reassure him that an argument does not mean the end of the relationship.

While a few arguments are no reason to end a relationship, there are times when fighting can get out of hand. Some arguments can be helpful and constructive to the relationship while others can be very damaging. Look closely at the types of fights that you and your partner have. Think about the things listed below and try to determine if you are making or breaking your relationship.

Continuously fighting over the same thing again and again can be harmful to a relationship. Constructive arguments end with a resolution.

Also consider what types of fights you have. When you argue it can be upsetting. However if your fights end up with yelling, naming calling, cursing, or even violence they are likely weakening your relationship with your partner.

You also need to look closely at your relationship and determine what things you argue about the most. There are going to be issues that you never see eye to eye on. However you may be able to see a pattern in the things that you argue about the most. You may want to talk about these things with your mate. Try to understand each other’s opinions about the topics. If you cannot come to a compromise on the issue at least come to an agreement to respect the difference and stop fighting over it.

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