One of the most frustrating aspects about being marred are the following words:
The reason they are so frustrating is that they lack the clarity of substance and meaning for what talking means. Couples talk all the time. They talk about the weather. They talk about their kids. They talk about the work that they need to do. They talk about their schedules. They talk all the time.
The problem lies in the fact that when one or the other in a couple says: we don’t talk anymore — what they really mean is we don’t share our dreams, our thoughts or our desires. We don’t connect anymore.
Another way of saying this is:
When you can acknowledge that you are missing your spouse, you are discovering that it isn’t the fact that you don’t talk anymore – it’s what you aren’t talking about. Conversation does not equal communication – especially not where human beings are concerned. We communicate in a variety of ways from verbal to nonverbal. We connect on a multitude of levels and we need all of these connections.
When we begin to feel disconnected from our loved ones – we feel like we aren’t talking anymore. It may sound very simplified, but we associate conversation with connection. I’ve known married couples that say very little, but they are very in tune and connected with each other.
The next time you think you aren’t talking anymore – ask yourself whether it is the conversation that is lacking or the connection that you feel is missing.
How do you maintain your connection with your spouse?
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