Confession: I’m already thinking about having another baby. My son is only 3 months old! Lately I’ve been thinking about when I’d like to have a second child. I’ve considered the sibling relationship and how it is affected by age differences. I’ve considered the expenses. I’ve considered the effect on our marriage. I’ve also considered my health.
It is best for your health and your babies’ health to wait at least a few years between pregnancies. Surprisingly, it’s also best not to wait too long. More than 18 months and less than 5 years is a safe span, according to research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association a few years back. Personally, my doctor advised that I wait until my son is one year old to get pregnant again. I’m hoping that breastfeeding won’t interfere too much with my family planning.
In terms of the sibling relationship, it seems that there is no set rule about age differences and their correlation with how well two siblings may get along. My brother-in-law is probably closer to his oldest brothers, despite the fact that he has a brother who is only a year old than he is. On the other hand, my husband’s siblings, who are 4 and 6 years younger than he is, are probably closer to each other than they are to him, simply because they’ve spent more time together since my husband left the nest. I admire how well my cousin’s eldest son has adjusted to having a baby brother. They are not quite two years apart. I would love for my kids to form strong bonds during their lifetime and I often wonder how age differences will affect those relationships.
As for financial reasons to hurry or wait, the hospital bills would come sooner than I like, but it may be cheaper to have multiple children in college, considering the increased financial aid. Also, I would be raising young children for a shorter amount of time, allowing me to spend more time pursuing my writing career once they are all in school (unless I decide to home school).
Having one kid after another may also affect my marriage. Let’s face it, intimacy is hard to come by when you’re in the late stages of pregnancy and the first few months of a newborn’s life. What if once things get back to normal, another child comes and throws us right back into sleepless nights and constant interruptions?
What are your thoughts on spacing out children? What factors did you consider when determining when to try to conceive #2 or #3?
The Let’s Talk Blog Top Ten – Reasons to Have a Small Sibling Age Gap
The Let’s Talk Blog Top Ten – Reasons to Have a Large Sibling Age Gap