Let’s say that you have to get to work for an important meeting and you go to drop your child off at day care and she starts crying and throwing a temper tantrum. Do you stay and comfort your child or do you rush off to your meeting? It does not matter if you are a parent who works outside the home or one who does not, we are all eventually faced with having to drop off and leave a crying or crabby child (and many of us have to do it on a regular basis), learning when to go back and when to leave, and how to make the transition smoother can be daunting!
Part One of dropping off a crying child is to try to figure out what is going on. The age of the child may be a factor; it is very common for a two year-old, for example to experience separation anxiety when he is separated from his known caretakers. It could also be the time of day (early morning or right before nap time) or the child may actually be picking up on your stress and concern. Before you give everything up and swear to never leave home again (until your child goes off to college), do some investigation and see if you can figure out if there is anything seriously wrong. I hate to admit it, but it could also be that the day care just isn’t the greatest place. See if your child cries indiscriminately regardless of where you leave him or her or if it is specific to day care (or grandma’s house.) If the child is happier being left in some places than others, that might be a clue as to what is going on.
While you are investigating what is going on for the child, take a look at your attitude as well. If you leave and return happy and are eager to find out what fun your child had that day, he might be happier than if you are constantly telling him how sorry you are to leave him and what a poor baby he is to have his parent abandon him at the icky day care. Your attitude might be encouraging the child to cry and get upset when you try to drop him off.
In Part Two of this topic, I will talk about ways to make the transition easier and how to actually walk away and leave a crying child when you have to drop him or her off.