My daughter is a visual learner. She thrives on using colorful visual aids to help retain information or to serve as a clear reminder of lessons or events. Hence our success using a reward chart.
When my daughter was three years old I invested in a reward chart and promptly hung it in the hallway where no one, especially my young offspring, could miss it. Whereas, some parents use the chart to curb negative behavior, I wanted a visual tool to encourage my daughter to exercise good behavior while completing a list of daily activities.
The chart included a list of responsibilities, including brushing her teeth, combing her hair and picking up her toys without being constantly reminded to do so by mom or dad. When she accomplished each task she was rewarded by a star sticker. Once she collected 10 stars she was allowed to select a small toy, dine at her favorite restaurant or take a trip to the zoo, park or children’s museum.
Guess what? The chart worked… for about three years.
My daughter is six now and I think she has officially outgrown the star chart.
She’s ready to move on from the stickers and prizes, but I’m not.
Whereas the responsibilities on the chart and the subsequent rewards have been modified over the years, my daughter is no longer motivated to fill up the chart’s empty spaces with silver and gold stickers.
In fact, she is no longer motivated to do much of anything, save for playing, and whining when she has to do anything but play.
I’ve explained to her in no uncertain terms that regardless of whether or not a star chart is hanging in the hallway she will still be required to brush her teeth, comb her hair and make her bed.
We’ll see what happens when the chart comes down. In the meantime, I am forced to deal with my own parents who were anti-chart to begin with. My mom and dad never understood why I needed to put up a chart to begin with.
“Why should she get rewarded for doing everyday tasks?” questioned my mother. “She needs to learn that brushing her teeth is a part of life and not a step towards getting ice cream.”
I know tons of parents who still employ the rewards chart despite their children’s age. My friend uses the chart with her 9-year-old to curb negative behavior. Her kid scores a star each time he refrains from using bad language. He’s also rewarded when he doesn’t hit his siblings and finds another way to express his frustration other than yelling and screaming. According to my friend, the chart works like a charm.
Reward charts may not be as effective with every child, and they certainly don’t solve every problem, but they are worth trying if you have exhausted all other options.
Do you use rewards charts to modify your child’s behavior?
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