Up to 30 million men in the United States experience chronic erectile disfunction. According to the National Ambulatory Medical Care Survey, as many as 50 percent of men ages 40 to 70 experience ED. What this means is that because this condition is so common, there is a good chance that you may have to deal with it at some point in your marriage.
A Private Issue?
Yesterday, I was reading the forums here at Families.com and was struck by a post from a caring husband. He has been suffering from ED for the past three months and is trying to decide whether or not to tell his wife. Naturally, he may be a little embarrassed or worried about feeling weak in front of her.
While ED is certainly a private issue, I feel that it is an issue that should involve both spouses for the following reasons:
- The disorder affects both spouses
- A marriage is a team. The condition should be approached as an issue to solve together. Working together can usually strengthen a marriage.
- The wife can offer safe and loving support.
- The wife may wonder if the current issues mean that the husband no longer finds her attractive. This misunderstanding can lead to problems in the marriage.
- Having a second person available to do research, ask questions and listen to medical advice can go a long way to ensure good care.
Moving Forward
ED can be caused by many other underlying issues, so it is important to discuss everything with your doctor. There are many available treatments, from drugs, to therapy to surgical devices.
When approached correctly, ED does not have to be something just to put up with or seen as an inevitable part of the aging process. It isn’t anyone’s fault, and the husband should not feel guilty or discouraged.
A healthy sex life is good for marriage. So is working together to solve any intimacy issues that may come up within the relationship.