In my last blog, I talked about a behavior shaping technique called the 30-Second Technique as described by Dr. Jerry Day. In most cases, your child will comply by the time the sixth item has been taken away. Most will comply even earlier. However, just in case this method does not work you will have to continue removing items until you “clean the child out and empty the room.” Day says that in forty years of practice he knows of only two cases where parents had to go to this extreme.
After you remove all of the child’s toys and gadgets and your child still has not complied then you will have to start removing privileges, like TV time. If this does not work then you will have to start taking things from the room- wall posters, knickknacks, favorite clothes- everything with the exception of the bed, covers to sleep under and some clothes to wear. You also have to banish your child to his room until he’s ready to comply. Day related one instance where a 16-year-old boy was banished to his room for three weeks. His mother followed the method starting with the removal of items from her son’s room, moving on to privileges and finally ending with sending her son to his bare room. He even ate in his room! And after school (his mom was a stay-at-home mom, so she could monitor him) he went directly to his room until bedtime. As I said this went on for three weeks until he finally told his mom that she won and he would comply with her previous request. From that point on, he always did his chores when asked.
As Day pointed out it is rare that a parent would have to go to this extreme but if it happens, you have to be prepared to go the distance. In fact, he says that it’s better for you not to start this method unless you are sure you will be able to see it through to the end. However, if you use the method consistently, your child will comply with your commands in an expeditious manner. If you use the method with success and then drop it, your child will slip back into his old ways.
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