There are always gaps and unfinished business in any family—regardless of whether you are a two parent family or a single parent family. I do think, however, that healing and getting stabilized after a separation, divorce, or death (or other family crisis) gives us the opportunity to figure out what those gaps are, and then work to fill things in and heal our family situations.
Gaps can be major—estranged relationships, neglect, etc. or they might be seemingly minor—the need to get to the dentist or clean out the garage. There are always areas of unfinished business but the more we work to put things right and take care of those gaps and outstanding situations, the more healed and healthy our family will feel.
I suggest starting with your child or children—are there things that have been put on hold or neglected while your family has been working through a difficult time? Even ordinary things can get overlooked—do they need new shoes? How long has it been since they have had a check-up or been to the dentist? Is it time to clean out the closets and reorganize the child’s space? How long has it been since you met with the teachers or considered a new extracurricular activity for the child? Is it time to change or modify your day care? You can see how once you start to take a look or give your family a little evaluation or “check-up” you will be able to see where the gaps are.
Don’t forget to look at other areas of your life, including at your own personal needs. What is missing? Have you updated your will? Made changes to your insurance? Could you use a meeting with a financial advisor now that you are a single parent? How long has it been since you made a new friend or tried something new? Where are the gaps in your current situation and what can you do to fill them in?
Also: Elements of Mother and Father