Know how you can become THE. COOLEST. PARENT. EVER. without having to go into debt, break the law, compromise your child’s body parts or abandon morality?
Buy your kid this for Christmas:
One Direction: Behind the Scenes is about as close to Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, as most tweens and teens will get without winning a radio contest, paying off a financially-strapped member of the band’s security detail or falling asleep while listening to “What Makes You Beautiful.”
The book is packed with never-before-seen photos, exclusive interviews, and more importantly, inside information on what it would be like to date one of the 1D hotties, including:
Louis: “I’m a bit of a joker. I can be romantic, but not too sickly.”
Harry: “I’m very loyal, very faithful and my mom tells me I’m romantic.”
Hmmmm… not sure if mom telling her son he is romantic is a good sign, but why would you want romantic when you can have what Niall has to offer?
Niall: “I’m nice. I’d treat a girl well. I’d buy her presents and take her to nice places.”
Never mind the fancy gifts and trips, Niall won me over by revealing that he’d treat a girl “well” rather than “good.” Proper use of the English language is much more attractive than expensive jewelry, no?
This is why my 8-year-old likes me to keep quiet during carpool.
In addition to seeing the One Direction guys in all their glossy glory, the book also features a quiz you can take to see which member of the uber-popular English-Irish boy band is right for you.
You know, in case you like get stuck with the entire group on a deserted island and you have to pick just one to hook up with before you all starve to death.
Did I mention the book also comes with a style guide?
Newsflash: Niall likes to wear bracelets because they “snazz up any kind of outfit.”
The must-have for every One Direction fan also includes super fab personal information like each guy’s eye color, star sign, favorite grooming product (pssst, hair wax is big with the 1D boys), and OMG, their can’t-live-without aftershave.
Spoiler alert: Harry wears Bleu de Chanel; Niall swims in Armani Mania; and Louis bathes in Hollister.
That’s huge for all you parents looking for a can’t-miss stocking stuffer for your mega-1D fan. Get a sample of your child’s dream boy’s aftershave so she can squirt it on her pillowcase and be ensured of sweet dreams. Then, wrap One Direction: Behind the Scenes in a box embellished with a big bow and place it under the Christmas tree.
Because heaven help you if you make the mistake of bending the book to get it to fit in your child’s stocking.
Dear Mom, creasing Zayn’s face could result in one very unmerry Christmas. Love, the future Mrs. Malik.
P.S. You can get a perfectly pristine copy of One Direction: Behind the Scenes on HarperCollins’ website and at discount retailers nationwide.