Do you find it hard to be positive about things going on around you? Maybe you are both overwhelmed by the bills. It could be that your spouse has a habit that just drives you nuts? Are they a compulsive spender? Do they not see the mess as they walk through a room? Do you feel like you are at your wit’s end? Do you breathe a sigh of relief when they are leaving and bracing yourself when they are coming home?
I’d say that your stress levels are far too high and that stress is affecting both of you. Life has an uncanny way of doing this to both of you if you aren’t careful. So this is a time for accentuating the positive more than ever. I know you’re probably thinking if all this is going on, there’s nothing positive to accentuate. It’s all a mater of perception.
Here are some tips that I use to help myself accentuate the positive, hopefully they will help you too:
- Flip through the wedding album and remember how you felt that day
- Put on your wedding song and other songs that remind you of your spouse
- Write down his or her name in the center of a piece of paper and draw lines from the name to the qualities about them that you love
- On the same sheet you wrote down the qualities, start writing down examples of those qualities
- Make a rule that when your spouse comes home, you talk about the good things that happened that day – save the problems for a later time
- Make a point of saying I Love You on a regular basis, intersperse it in conversation rather than just at the end of a conversation
- Remember – your spouse is there for you, your kids are a product of your relationship and the life you are building together is not about the problems, but the shelter you provide for each other against those problems
How do you and your spouse accentuate the positive?
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