As a single parent with an absent non-custodial father, I always worried about my daughter having a strong male role model in her life. I did all I could by being the best mom I could be. I worked so I could provide her with shelter, food, clothes, and an over-abundance of toys. I made it a point of doing special mom and daughter things, such as painting our nails, going to a movie, shopping, etc. But there was one thing I could not do: teach her how to have a relationship with a man.
I am not talking romantic relationship. My word, she was under five years old at the time (this is before my now-ex-husband adopted her). I am talking about having a man in her life that could be a strong influence for her.
That man turned out to be my stepfather. From day one, he and my daughter have had a special bond. He spends lots of time with her: taking her for walks, allowing her to help with his goats, playing with her, and just being there for her in general. I have always been grateful to him for that.
I think it is important for children to have positive role models of both genders, which can be difficult to come by in single parent families, especially when the non-custodial parent is absent. However, I urge any single parent in this situation to find someone of the opposite sex to fill this void in your child’s life. There is so much to be learned from men that a woman simply cannot teach (and vice-versa).
Because of my stepfather, my daughter has learned that men can be gentle, warm, compassionate, funny, and so much more than the absent father she never knew. I can hope that her relationship with my stepfather (her Papa) will allow her to make healthy relationship choices in the future-when romance will be involved.