Well yesterday was the first class I attended at my church on the topic of raising teenage boys. I wasn’t able to make it to last week’s class which talked about mental development. This week was about sexual development.
Our youth pastor gave us a strong warning before he started the class. He said that much of what he was going to talk about was going to be in your face and possibly cause us embarrassment. This class was going to be as real as it can be.
Some might be surprised that such a class would be taught in church; however, I happen to attend one that believes in keeping it real. We deal with real life issues in a real life way. Teenage sexuality is a very real issue and often times, misunderstood one.
I came away from the class with a better understanding of what my teenage son struggles with. I also learned that those struggles are normal, yet they often times feel very alone. It helped me to open up a discussion with my son that allowed him to know I am there for him. It also showed him that I somewhat understand what he is going through.
One of the things that I want to share which surprised me and may surprise others is that boys also struggle with body images. I always associated that with girls; however, boys often compare themselves to others.
Some boys feel bad about themselves because they aren’t as muscular as another or they aren’t as tall. However, what we were taught is that it’s our job as parents to help our teens feel secure. We do that by sending them positive messages.
We also have to be honest with our teens. The way they are built is the way they are built. No matter how much one teen may work out, it may never provide the results he is looking for. For other teens they will never be taller than what they are. Part of helping them to accept who they are is pointing out that their builds are not going to change.
Teenage boys do struggle with body image. Being aware of this can help parents to have conversations with their teens about what the world portrays as the ideal body image and what the ideal body image is for them.
Don’t assume your teen boy doesn’t struggle with his body image. The world out there is trying to tell him one thing. You as a parent need to tell him another thing.
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