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Venting about Your Spouse Online?

carLast week, we had a frustrating situation. My husband had started a new job, he was going to an unfamiliar area, and when he came out, our car was nowhere to be seen. After looking for it for quite some time, he called the police and filed a report.

Of course, my stress levels went through the roof. We are already having a difficult week, and to add this on top of it … well, we’ll just say it wasn’t something we really needed, as if you ever really need your car to get stolen.

After two days, we received some wonderful news. Our car was found, safe, and hadn’t been stripped and scattered to the winds. What a relief! And then the story came out. It wasn’t that the car had been stolen … my husband forgot where he parked, and the meter maid found it right where it had been left. We laughed, I teased him a little, and we decided to chalk it up to experience.

But now I have a problem.

You see, when I thought the car was stolen, I said as much on Facebook. It is, after all, the place where everyone goes to vent their frustrations. But once the car was found, and the real reason it was missing was revealed, I was in a pickle. I don’t believe in making fun of my spouse in public. I gently tease him from time to time, but I avoid shaming him at all costs, and he was already so embarrassed about losing the car. But with everyone asking me how I was, and telling me they’d been praying for me, it put me in a tough spot.

Finally I decided to go ahead and just mention that the car had been found safely, with a quick note that it had been misplaced. No one has pressed the issue, and I’m glad about that.

In some ways, I wish I’d never mentioned it on Facebook, although I have to say, the love and support I felt from my friends kept me going. I think it’s all a matter of balance—knowing what to say vs. knowing what to withhold. But the point of my long, rambling story is this. The Internet is not a place to tease your spouse, or to vent frustrations. We might have an argument or a situation and it will all be resolved, but someone who read our blog or our Facebook status might keep bringing it up and adding fuel to a fire that should be allowed to burn down on its own.

Plus, the Internet remembers everything, and while you think that you completely removed the blog about your argument, it’s still accessible. You don’t want your private lives blasted all over cyberspace like that.

So if you have an issue with your spouse, work it out privately. And if you post that your car has been stolen, and it turns out that your spouse just forgot where he parked … well, see if you can find a way to reassure your friends without openly teasing him. I’m doing the best I can on that.

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