When Life Gets in the Way

Since I’ve been parenting alone it seems as if life gets in the way a lot. There are certain things that simply have to be done and sometimes those things get in the way of effective parenting. Tonight was one of those nights. As a busy full time student I normally try my hardest to work on homework during times when Logan is asleep or at his dad’s. Unfortunately, that is not always possible. Some nights the amount of work simply cannot be done without cutting into some mommy time.

I had a big presentation for tomorrow. One that I thought I was pretty prepared for, but found a little glitch in my plan, and had to start the entire thing over. I knew it was going to be several hours of work trying to pull the presentation back together again, which meant Logan and I didn’t get to spend the night quite how we would have liked. Instead he sat on the floor playing with his pirates, while I slaved away trying to fix the mess I was in. It broke my heart when he asked if I could play with him and I had to tell him that I couldn’t this time. I felt guilty as I was working on my project, feeling that I should be spending the time on the floor playing with my son, but I also knew that if I didn’t work on it now there was no way I would be able to pull it off and get a passing grade tomorrow. In the end, school won out, but I’m not sure it should have.

When you are doing so much on your own it seems things tend to get in the way pretty frequently. You have a lot on your plate and a bunch of little people depending on you. Sometimes you have to make a choice about what is more important. Tonight, I’m not sure I made the right choice. Spending ten minutes playing on the floor probably wouldn’t have cost me my grade and it would have made both of us feel better tonight. We all have room for improvements when it comes to parenting. What really matters is that we do a little better tomorrow. Logan and I are going to spend some quality time together tomorrow, just playing and having fun. In the end, I care way more about how I’m doing as a parent. Sometimes, that means making a few sacrifices here and there, but it is worth every single one.

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