Wives with Husbands Hiding Viagra

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Samual 6 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #174924

    LoveandRespect

    Hi Wives, has your faithful husband been hiding viagra? :o Please share your story!
    Mine did. He hid it from me for about 7 years, and he’d still be hiding it from me if I hadn’t discovered it on my own. I was shocked when I found out, and relieved. I’m a very sensitive person and sense things most other people don’t. So finding this out finally explained to me why sex was not as good as it once was for me. And why he had unexplained heart palpatations, flushed ears, headaches…all side effects of viagra.
    He said the reason he hid it was because I was against it when he tried it years ago. This is true. I didn’t like him having side-effects and I didn’t think he tried enough natural alternatives. His ***** was injured about 10 years ago and so he tried viagra to see if it helped. It did help his *****, :allright: but it didn’t help our relationship. I KNEW he was hiding something and I was tense about this. And then because I didn’t know that he was taking these pills, when he came to me all erect and ready, I was put off by his unusual energy. Come to find out, he didn’t know when I wanted him anymore and he went through a whole bottle once he said, without having any sex with me.
    From my perspective sex became something unnatural to me. I just didn’t want to do anymore with him because of the tension I felt surrounding it. When he did have sex it was less organic and relaxing. Too rushed and *****-centered. It often felt like I was having sex with a stranger. But things I hope will get better now that things are out in the open.
    My husband and I are talking now about all this and all’s forgiven. :goodjob: I’m hoping next that he’ll see a urologist to check to see if his erections are just fine, and that we will see a sex therapist to help get the natural juices flowing again.

    #914784

    Das

    He wants to spend loving time with you & that’s good.
    Best of luck.

    #915394

    LoveandRespect

    Thank you Das for your loving reply. :goodjob: I understand that that could be very much a hormonal male’s root chakra viewpoint – using viagra to love and be loved by a woman. I appreciate this stance, yet I believe this to be true for me, that the drug artificially changes the vibrations of and creates a harmful imbalance for the person using it and between the sexual partners. It changed our affection and love life for the worse, and whether my husband is aware of it or not, he has harmed himself. He has become an addict, envying the days when he was 21 and using sex only to relieve stress.
    I now understand why I was exhausted the next day after having sex with my husband. He was using something that didn’t agree with me. And during all that time when he was apparently using viagra, I don’t recall a time when we just lay with each other, tenderly caressing and calming each other all without intercourse. That’s what I missed most of all. And I slowly became confused and ill from the lack of it.
    About impotence, I’m not a hormonal man, but I would suggest any man with impotence to get to the root of it, if they chose to. There are effective therapies like with a safe electrical device that applies quatum biofeedback therapies. It scans at least 10,000 different frequencies and balances them out. Like Bose headphones do. The device is designed to do no harm and Lance Armstrong uses it and so does Tiger Woods. :realexc: I couldn’t say if these two men need it for impotency, but why wouldn’t they use it since it obviously enhances their sports performance. And then take for example, The Miracle Man, in the movie “The Secret”. He walked out of the hospital on Christmas, after the doctors told him he’d never walk again after he crashed a plane. And then there’s always classes on meditation and learning from books like “Meditation as Meditation” that address impotency. All in all, these are only suggestions.
    As it stands right now today between my husband and I, something’s had to give and my finding out about his hidden his use of viagra has done the trick. He is fighting hard to keep using viagra. And I will leave him over this because I believe in my heart it’s for the best. :niceone:

    #915485

    mcmama

    loveandrespect, you might want to look at your edit. You’re telling us you’re a woman, but in this post you say “I’m not a hormonal man”. So there is something confusing there.

    Anyway – it sounds to me like you don’t like this, and are really tired. And yes, viagra like all medications, should be given for medical reasons, and the cause of the problem should be addressed.

    #919448

    kevin123

    [quote=LoveandRespect]About impotence, I’m not a hormonal man, but I would suggest any man with impotence to get to the root of it, if they chose to. There are effective therapies like …[/quote]
    Dear L&R, I am a man, married almost 20 years. Please understand that men are genetically inclined to avoid going to the doctor, to hide weaknesses, and to simply try solutions that they feel will work, without having to go to others for help. Yes, sometimes we men are too proud to admit that we need help, but that’s the way God made our DNA and our instincts. You can of course, express appreciation to your husband that he is trying to help the relationship you two share, even if you don’t agree with his method, his heart sounds like it is in the right place.

    And please don’t be shocked if he resists “talking” about it, as he probably can’t talk about it the way your girlfriends talk about problems, since he is a man, not a woman. He can be your best friend, not a girlfriend, but your man and your friend.

    Men and women experience intimacy and romance differently. Men primarily through touch and yes, intercourse; while women seem to experience intimacy primarily through talking (which I can accept intellectually, but I still cannot feel why this difference exists.)

    Marital counseling may be helpful. My wife and I tried a few counselors before we found one who could really connect with both of us, so it may take a few tries, but it is worth the effort. One insight we learned is that women and men really do experience the wordly very differently in some ways, and similarly in other ways. Neither way is better or worse, and both are neccessary, as that is how we people are made; we men & women complement each other.

    Your husband sounds like he is trying to keep the intimacy and the romance alive in your relationship, even though it may make no sense to you, or probably to many women.

    Many men would look outside the marrige for intimacy when their women reject them. Please stop rejecting him. Be glad he wants to be intimate with *you*.

    I wish you luck whatever you choose to do.

    Best Regards,
    Kevin

    #954988

    mummyme

    Isn’t it good that hes trying to please you and not make you worry? you got someone who loves you alot dear

    #968260

    happyfridays_1

    I discovered that my husband was using a drug for a couple of years by accident. He was really embarrassed about it when I confronted him. He’s 17 years older than me, and felt really intimidated by my youth that he felt in order to keep up with me, he needed the drug. I wasn’t upset with him. It’s difficult enough as it is for a man to talk about his feelings, but when it comes to his sexuality, I think it’s true that that’s one of the things that makes a man feel like a man, and when he loses his ability to do it naturally and has to turn to drugs or other alternatives, it’s embarrassing to talk about and damaging to his self-confidence. He’s open to conversations about it now that he knows he can discuss it in a safe environment without being judged or frowned upon. In fact, he’s found he uses it less now that he knows the pressure that he placed on himself to perform was really coming from him and not from me. I think that added stress made it difficult for him to perform naturally. Have you expressed to your husband how the Viagra has affected you and if so, does he understand? the sex therapist may help, but you should both understand each other’s position on it. I’m sure he didn’t mean to harm you intentionally by using it and only wanted to be able to please you. A therapist or counselor would be good to help find alternative ways to keep the passion alive in your relationship, but don’t threaten to leave him or judge him for what he did because that won’t help the situation. you should be supportive of him to help him get through this. And be grateful he’s interested in keeping the romance alive in your marriage.

    #972630

    LoveandRespect

    Greetings ~ :wave:
    It’s been almost a year since reality slapped me on the back, handing me a hidden bottle of chemicals called Viagra ~ a legalized form of something that acts like cocaine ~ And there’s been no sex for months around here either. I’m free, and relieved. :nods: Who needs that kind of weird intensity to feel alive? Only the numbed.
    The boring human struggle of trying to get a numbed husband to wake up is a quicksand trap ready and waiting anytime for me to thrash around in. :cool: Instead of kicking around in a deep pit of mud, I firmly sit down and meditate. It sure beats having a spiritually suffocating conversation with him, or with anyone else. All the drama humans come up with are distracting away from enlightenment ~ and preparation for our impending deaths. So wake up folks! Get prepared!
    For those here who are suggesting that #1. I understand him, #2, be grateful and #3. not leave him, you will benefit from experiencing more suffering, then let it all go. I have been doing all three of these suggestions for years for others, and I still suffered. :eek:
    What I needed was for me to be all three for myself and then let that it all go. I delightfully laughed :rolf: when I woke up and saw this. It is an illusion to believe that what any of us do really makes any difference on what another person does when we’re still sleeping with our heads on the pillow of unenlightenment.
    So here it is. Words of experience and wisdom.. Viagra is another illusion and so is justifying the using of it. It’s simple. Mechanical sex with chemicals isn’t even in the same galaxy with the bliss of spontaneous spiritual peace. :peace:

    #972637

    marylr

    ??????????????????

    #972671

    mcmama

    Looking back at this, I finally get what you were trying to say. You’re a woman trying to understand the male sex drive or lack of it.

    It sounds like you have come to a realization about yourself in the relationship, and that is great. But I wouldn’t rule out viagra for everyone – I think it depends on why a man uses it – and like all drugs, it can be abused.

    Viagra and other drugs for “ED” are really great for couples who find that there is a male physical problem that keeps them from being intimate. A lot of chronic illnesses will interfere with this – and for those couples who have shared intimacy and want to continue, this can be a help. But it is certainly not going to wake up the desire of someone who has emotional problems, depression, etc, nor is it really intended to be an enhancement. I think if a man or a couple approach it with those expectations, the problem will still be there.

    Sounds to me, loveandrespect, that you are looking for just that – Love and Respect. And that sure doesn’t come in a bottle. Good for you moving in positive directions!

    #977629

    Samual

    I have had to use viagra since I was 17 due to the mumps, I can understand why he wouldn’t tell you, it’s a very embarassing thing to tell someone, no matter who they are. I mean, would you have an indepth conversation about bladder weakness? You have to remember, just because you go to a doctor or sex therapist, it doesnt mean he will be able to achieve erections on his own.

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