02 Feb 2010 09:48 AM

Parental Involvement:a High School Requisite ?

I am always amazed at how much time and money parents spend when their kids first start school. There is so much pride about their son or daughter going to kindergarten. They buy new clothes and school supplies (many of which they will never use) and have pictures taken to send to family and friends. Most parents volunteer to help in class or at special classroom functions. They commit their time to helping their child with homework, checking books out of the library, and reading with their child each night. It seems parent’s involvement with their children during elementary years is quite intense. If you don’t believe me, just go to parent-teacher night at any elementary school. You practically need to take a number and stand in line to talk to a teacher. Better yet, go to a PTA meeting for grades K-5, and while you’re there, ask for a copy of their financial statement. In fact, if PTA moms ran the country, we would never have another deficit. Even kid’s programs at the local library are usually completely full. OK, now the kids move on to Middle School and parental involvement starts to wane. You don’t see many middle school moms at PTA meetings. I went to a parent-teacher conference night when my oldest was in 6th grade, and I thought I had the wrong night because the halls were deserted. In fact, most of his teachers were ecstatic to see a parent walk in the door. One of them even said to me, “Thank you for coming, it tells me you care.” By the time kids start 6th grade; most parents seem to have lost their parental gusto. They seem to be saying my child is equipped with all they need to do well in school, now it’s on them. I have actually heard parents say, “I don’t check to see if he does his homework anymore. That is his responsibility now, he’s a big boy.” One parent told me, “He got a C in Science; I didn’t even know he was having trouble with that class.” Who was I to point out that each grade, homework assignment, and upcoming tests is posted on the school’s website? All you have to do is ask your son or daughter for the ID number and password. Now we get to high school, and teachers don’t even expect to hear from you or see you. I mean, they want to see you and hear from you, they just don’t expect it. So when did parental apathy set in? Did it happen when the children stopped being cute and cuddly? Did it happen when parents felt they could no longer help their students with their homework? For some parents, apathy never does set in; they stay involved, show they care, support, encourage and nurture. How can we do this? We need to check the school web site to see if they are completing and turning in each assignment. We need to find out what their grades are at mid-term, and let our child know what is acceptable. We have to check what our student is reading, what assignments have been given, and when they are due. We need to ask how they did on the quiz or test that day; and give our teenager a hug for a job well done. We have to sit down with our student to find out what part of the test was difficult, what area gave them a hard time and why. How many parents show their teenagers they care by doing any or all of the above? Parental involvement in high school should be as strong as it was when you walked your child to school the first day. Don’t take my word for it; just go to the Harvard Graduate School of Education website where the results of the Harvard Family Research Project are listed: http://www.hfrp.org/publications-resources/browse-our-publications/adolescence-are-parents-relevant-to-students-high-school-achievement-and-post-secondary-attainment Read for yourself how parental involvement is essential for high school and college achievement.

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