As I continue my “10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away,” in part 9 we are going to consider how we sometimes expect our teens to act like adults. One of the clearest ways we do this is by making statements like, “Grow up!” or “Why don’t you act your age?”
I have made similar statements to my own teens. One day my oldest son responded to my request that he act his own age with “I am!” And you know what? He was right.
Take some time to really think about statements like that. When we tell our teens to grow up, we are asking them to suddenly mature into logical thinking adults. When we tell our teens to act their age, well, they actually are.
Even though teens are beginning the trek into becoming adults, we have to remember that they aren’t quite there yet. In fact many of them are teetering on the fence line, sometimes leaning into childhood and other times into adulthood.
One day they seem so mature and the next you wonder if they will ever make it in life. It can be a rollercoaster ride, for sure.
But if you continue to expect adult behavior out of your teen, it will only push them away. Instead, we have to make allowances for dumb choices and mistakes. We have to know that they won’t always use logic or commonsense.
It doesn’t mean we don’t continue to teach and guide them. But we have to, as I have mentioned in previous blogs, think back to when we were teenagers. Did we always get it right? Were our decisions always the right ones?
Sometimes the hardest lessons learned are the best. As they make mistakes based on immaturity, it is used to help grow them in life.
Don’t push your teen away by expecting them to act like adults. They aren’t there yet.
Related Articles:
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Don’t Listen to Them (Part 1)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Focus Only on the Wrong (Part 2)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Expect Your Teen to Be Perfect (Part 3)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Offer Advice When They Don’t Want It (Part 4)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Believe They Don’t Need You (Part 5)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Use Sarcasm to Get Your Point Across (Part 6)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Criticize Their Style (Part 7)
10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Dismiss Their Hurts (Part 8)
Photo by brokenarts in stock.xchng