Never Too Old

I was only 21 when I got divorced. I was extremely young, but I felt like I had lived the life of a much older woman. As time went on I wasn’t sure I would ever get married again. It seemed like I had been single for so long already, I just couldn’t understand why it was taking me so long to find someone again. I felt like I had a lot to offer, but all the men that kept coming into my life were, well…less than what I wanted for me and my son. Stealing credit cards and sneaking … Continue reading

The Co-Parenting Rollercoaster

We all know how important the co-parenting relationship is after a divorce. You have children together, and thus will be dealing with each other for a very long time, which means you are going to have to find a way to get along when it comes to the kids. Sometimes this is relatively easy, sometimes it can be a nightmare. Having to stay in contact with someone who has hurt you deeply is never ideal. It’s natural to harbor some resentment after everything you’ve been through, but you have to put those things aside for the sake of your children. … Continue reading

Accepting the Things You Cannot Change

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” We’ve all heard the serenity prayer countless times throughout our lives. I’ve loved these beautiful words from the first time that I heard them; putting them in to practice, however, is another matter entirely. After my divorce I felt completely helpless. I felt as if I had lost everything that night. I lost my home, my husband, my source of income, and my dream of having a family. No matter what I did … Continue reading

Making Birthdays Special – Or Not

Marriage, like most of life, is all about seeing things from someone else’s point of view. I’ve had to learn that Jonathan copes with things, especially arguments and emotions, much more slowly than I do. That’s not what I wanted to discuss today. What I wanted to discuss is how marriage can sometimes force you to see the world in an entirely new way. Sounds like I’m talking about something life changing, right? Not really, though it’s certainly hard for me to process. I’m talking about presents. Jon’s birthday is today, and for months I had no idea what to … Continue reading

Battling Loneliness

Loneliness. It’s something that we have all felt in our lifetimes. As a single parent you may feel as if it is your constant companion. At the end of the day there is no one there to share in your triumphs or your struggles. There is no one there to help carry the heavy burden of parenting your children and it often leaves you feeling incredibly alone. This has been a constant struggle for me since my divorce. I yearned for the companionship that I had lost in my marriage. I wanted someone to talk to when I was frustrated … Continue reading

Facing Your Fears

We all have different fears throughout our lives. After a divorce it seems that many of those fears are intensified. I was deathly afraid of another marriage. My first marriage had failed miserably and I couldn’t bear the thought of going through that pain again. Ultimately I knew that I wanted to be able to have a family again, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to feel the vulnerability that would come with that. I wasn’t ready to run the risk of that kind of rejection again. My divorce had taken such a toll on my self-esteem, I wasn’t … Continue reading

Planning Special Moments

In the past two weeks I’ve looked at planning romantic moments for your spouse, making them feel special, and how to cope with missing your spouse even when he or she is more or less around. How do all of these things come together? In me trying to plan special things for my husband. Now that Jon has completed grad school I want to do something special for him. Parties he hast to host are too draining for him, so that’s out. I thought of the perfect idea: I’d bake him a cake. Not just any cake, but a black … Continue reading

Balancing Your Time

Childless couples face some different problems than couples with kids, but some of our issues are the same. One problem that I think any married couple has is spending time with one another. The specifics of the problem, however, vary whether or not children are in the equation. It’s well-known that finding time, period, when you have kids is a common conundrum. Finding time to do household chores, take a shower, spend time with your spouse, and still have some alone time can all be troublesome depending how many and what age children you have. Obviously Jon and I don’t … Continue reading

Lessons Learned

My ex husband and I met in high school. I had dated a lot, but being so young, I wasn’t particularly concerned about whether or not they were marriage material; I was too young to get married anyway. I had been warned to make good dating choices, but I was young and inexperienced, so like most teenagers, I didn’t realize the importance of those decisions quite yet. About a year after graduation we decided to get married. Neither of us really knew what we wanted in a spouse, it just seemed like the right thing so we got married and … Continue reading

A Day of Being You

Today was Mother’s Day. A nice holiday in and of itself but we mothers do not take full advantage of it. It’s the one day of the year we can ask our families to do anything for us, and they have to do it. It’s the holiday law. I should have written this post last week to give you time to make a list of all the things you would like your family to do for you. Forget flowers and breakfast in bed, I just want someone else to be me for the day. If you can get your family … Continue reading