Christians and Adoption

Have you noticed how common adoption is among Christians? While meeting our first case worker, this topic came up and got me thinking about why Christians might feel so drawn to this path to parenthood. Initially I thought Christian families might have a heart to adopt mainly so they could be a light to children who’ve been wounded in the past, using adoption as sort of a ministry opportunity. I think there is more to it than that though. While it’s true many Christians do have quite a heart to help others, I believe the Spirit of the Lord is … Continue reading

Birth Family and Entitlement in State Adoptions

I just wanted to touch on some thoughts I had relating to birth family, entitlement and communication. These are mostly things I wanted to get off my chest, but I hope someone who needs to hear them will have a better understanding of one adoptive mother’s perspective anyway. Allowing Contact with Birth Family Most parents I know would agree there is often a sense of loyalty within family—even within birth family. Whether or not this is true in any specific case, it’s because of this many adoptive parents are leery to allow much contact—if any, fearing some information, out of … Continue reading

The Shock of Adoption Secrets

We had heard about it happening in other families but were shocked to learn of it in our own. How could this happen? How did it get covered up for so long? There are so many questions that may never be answered… As we pulled up to my mother-in-law’s home for a harvest time/Halloween party, we noticed my husband’s step-mother parked in the driveway. It was our assumption at the time she might have wanted to meet her youngest grandson for the first time. We gathered the children and brought them into the house. Directing the kids to the play … Continue reading

Reflections on Adoption

Had someone told me one day I would grow up, meet a nice man who I’d marry, would willingly go through state adoption; that our children would be born to mothers who were unstable and our kids would have challenges likely as a result, I would have told them they were crazy! Years ago I believed that the only people who adopted were those who couldn’t have children of their “own”. I’m not sure if going through pregnancy and childbirth is harder than adoption. I can’t even say for sure that love for a child who’s been adopted is different … Continue reading

The Kids through State Adoptions

Contrary to the stories, concerns and fears you might have read about online, most of the kids adopted through the state that I personally know about are genuinely well adjusted and happy. Many potential adoptive parents become scared off after reading an adoption forum site or watching television. Before becoming resistant to state adoption, there are a few things I’d like you to know: 1. Adoption forum sites typically have posts by parents seeking support and information rather than raving about their wonderful and beautiful children. In other words, people with happy and normal lives don’t always sit and talk … Continue reading

When and What to Tell your Children about the Devil

After becoming a mom, I was eager to introduce my child to his Savior Jesus Christ. I knew what songs I’d sing to him and what I wanted to teach him about God’s love for us. I didn’t give much thought at that time to how I would tell him about the enemy of his soul he’d need to resist. Children who attend Sunday school regularly will likely learn about Satan in their class. They might hear about him through the story of Adam and Eve where Satan appeared as a serpent or from the story where Jesus was tempted. … Continue reading

Searching for the Real Me

I don’t feel like an overweight woman most of the time. Yeah, my back hurts and I’m tired a lot, but heck, kids can do that to you right? What I don’t get is why couldn’t I have a problem different than obesity instead? Why couldn’t I be too pretty or too charming? For some reason it seems more acceptable for a person’s eating disorder to manifest in being thin than overweight. My problem is, when I look in the mirror I don’t see a fat lady. I know I’m not thin, but I have just grown to accept that … Continue reading

Who Adopted You?

On Christmas Eve, while at my mom and dad’s home, my husband, kids and I began to wind down for the night. My husband retreated to the spare room with our youngest, and our oldest who is five-and-a-half and I stayed out in the living room for our sleep over. Some of the grown-ups had been watching television prior so my son and I caught the tail end of the show COPS. Though this is not something we typically allow our young children to watch, it happened and my son was left with questions. This particular episode was on drug … Continue reading

Adopting the Second Time Around

Our first adoption brought us so much joy. It was our son who provided us with the honorary title of “Mom and Dad”. During that drawn out journey for our family, it was truly about helping us achieve our dream of parenthood. When we began to long for a second child, we noticed it felt much different than it did with our first child. This time around adoption wasn’t about making my husband and me parents; it was about making our son a big brother and growing our family. Unlike with our first son, there wasn’t the desperation or the … Continue reading

Biblical Encouragement for Those in Waiting

The holiday times were by far the most difficult for me to bear while waiting for our boys. I know there are others that can relate to the longing feeling around this time as well. To be honest, I’m not sure how I would have sustained sanity without my faith in Christ and His ability during the dark period in my life of waiting to be a mother. Perhaps the most inspirational book of the Bible for me during this time was the Book of Psalms. David committed sins beyond what most of us have, was loved by God and … Continue reading