Is It Possible to Affair-Proof a Marriage?

On Oprah’s “Why Men Cheat Part 2” show, M. Gary Neuman offered three ways to affair-proof a marriage: 1. Appreciate your spouse more. In fact, make sure to appreciate your spouse as much as you possibly can. 2. Have sex. Make time for sex. Enjoy sex. (He suggested women are bad about receiving pleasure. Men are better at that. By nature they’re takers and we’re givers. We’re not comfortable receiving. Be it sexual pleasure or tokens of affection. Mr. Neuman said instead of saying “You shouldn’t have” when your husband gives you something, you should say, “Yes you should have … Continue reading

Never Fess Up to an Affair?

My last article discussed my amazement to a new book to be released that actually finds the positive side of affairs. I would like to take this article to give some discussion to my beliefs about the book. While I have not actually read the book, I have looked into some excerpts from it and gotten a good idea how the author feels and her point of views on cheating. My first thought was that perhaps a book about the positive side of affairs is a good idea. However I was more thinking in terms of from the perspective of … Continue reading

“When Good People Have Affairs”

Oh wow! Is this ever a new one in the books of marriage advice? Just recently author, Mira Kirshenbaum publishes what just may be one of the most controversial marriage books ever! Kirshenbaum is using her over 30 years of experience as a marriage therapist to conclude that indeed an affair may be just what a marriage needs! Yes you read it right! The title of her book, “When Good People Have Affairs” actually points out positive aspects that affairs can have on a marriage. While we all know that some marriages can indeed survive an affair and become stronger … Continue reading

Marriage Week in Review: May 19 – May 25

Wow what a week in marriage here at Courtney, Heather and I brought some very interesting and unique articles to you. If you missed some throughout the week, you can always check below for a recap. Tuesday, May 20 Marriage Rating Scale – How Do You Score? In this article, Heather brought us a rating that was used to rate wives. This scale is very interesting and humorous! Marriage Types: Covenant This was the first article in a series of marriage types that I began. A covenant marriage is one in which the couple shares a deeper commitment. Wednesday, … Continue reading

An Affair Doesn’t Mean “The End”

It may be hard to accept the idea that when your spouse has an affair, it doesn’t have to mean the marriage is over. For most men or women, betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow. It’s hard on the person who’s cheated on. It’s hard on the person who cheated. But it’s hardest on the marriage as the couple tries to recover who they were before the cheating. An affair doesn’t mean a marriage is over, but it does indelibly change the marriage. Complications Relationship experts cite over and over that affairs are not about the sex. The reasons … Continue reading

Yoko to Heather – “Try to Survive”

I recently blogged about Heather Mills and her recent divorce from Paul McCartney. After a bitter break up, the two finally settled on a financial amount – $48.6 million. While that does sound like a lot of money, it was nothing compared to the $1.6 billion he is estimated to be worth. She had to know that going up against the cutest Beatle would be an uphill battle. I mean, who doesn’t love Paul McCartney? I am not even a Beatles fan and he is my favorite Beatle! Therefore, no matter what went on in the marriage, he had the … Continue reading

What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs

In my quest to find information about affairs and STDs I stumbled across “Infidelity: Myths, Facts and Healing,” an article by Ofer Zur, Ph.D. Dr. Zur discussed all manner of things related to affairs and presented some very interesting facts about them. Or at least I found them interesting. They were things I didn’t know. I listed my revelations below. 1. Finally! A concise definition of infidelity. Maybe Dr. Zur’s not the first to define it thusly, but of all the definitions I’ve read this one was most succinctly stated: “Infidelity is unfaithfulness to a sexual partner in an agreed … Continue reading

Affairs and STDs

You often hear people talk about the psychological issues they suffer after finding out a spouse has had an affair (namely lack of trust), and there’s the other kind of fallout that manifests (counseling and divorce), but what about the health issues? How many affairs result in the contraction of an STD? Perhaps it’s a weird thing to wonder about. (Then again, I’m prone to that. “How Do Monkeys Keep Their Nails Clipped?” is proof.) But there you have it, I’m wondering about it. I blame Wayne. Not because he cheated and gave me an STD, but because of his … Continue reading

Confessing to an Affair Continued

In a previous article, I proposed a question to my readers. I asked if you would confess to having an affair. I also stated that there are many affairs that occur that no one ever knows about. If you had an affair, should you confess to it? Confessing to an affair is a big chance to take. No one can be certain how his or her mate will react to the confession. In this article, I will examine the possibilities of both confessing and keeping your secret. If you confess… I think that a lot depends on the type of … Continue reading