Coping with an Unfaithful Spouse

This is a difficult topic at the best of times. While the soap opera genre makes its bones on selling infidelity and dishonesty. No one likes to think it could happen to them. No one wants to imagine the scenario where it could or it did happen. More than one divorce can cite infidelity as the crisis point that the relationship never recovered from. Yet, a marriage may survive infidelity and a spouse may be able to cope when they have learned that their spouse was unfaithful. The very thought that your spouse has been unfaithful is enough to leave … Continue reading

Is It Possible to Affair-Proof a Marriage?

On Oprah’s “Why Men Cheat Part 2” show, M. Gary Neuman offered three ways to affair-proof a marriage: 1. Appreciate your spouse more. In fact, make sure to appreciate your spouse as much as you possibly can. 2. Have sex. Make time for sex. Enjoy sex. (He suggested women are bad about receiving pleasure. Men are better at that. By nature they’re takers and we’re givers. We’re not comfortable receiving. Be it sexual pleasure or tokens of affection. Mr. Neuman said instead of saying “You shouldn’t have” when your husband gives you something, you should say, “Yes you should have … Continue reading

Oprah’s “Why Men Cheat” Controversy

Last week Oprah did a show called “How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage: Why Men Cheat Part 2.” I don’t know if she had the “Part 2” planned or not. From the previews it kind of sounded like they did it in response to all of the responses Part 1 generated. It was the previews that caught my attention. Since I wasn’t going to be able to watch the show when it aired, I recorded it. Saturday while Wayne and I were hanging out to nurse Murph, he was flipping through our recorded programs on the DVR and saw the Oprah … Continue reading

Infidelity: Insult and Injury

In Does an STD Make the Crime of an Affair Even Worse?, I pondered just that. As deedee1231 pointed out, it probably doesn’t make it worse, it just adds insult to injury. I believe that. Yet when I wrote that article I didn’t think beyond an STD as a consequence of an affair that might add insult to injury. But then the whole prostitution scandal with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer happened. Except, before I could ponder how he not only embarrassed himself but his poor wife and that’s certainly a huge insult too, my mom fell sick. I … Continue reading

Internet Infidelity Leads to Attempted Hit

This morning while I was once again watching Today (yes, I’ve noticed I start off with this line a lot), they ran a story about a woman who used Craigslist to try and hire someone to kill her lover’s wife. Apparently 49-year-old Ann Marie Linscott is married and lives in the Grand Rapids, Michigan, area. She met her lover, who lives in Oroville, California, while taking a course over the Internet. They engaged in a cyber affair, but when she tired of being the other woman she got the bright idea to use Craigslist to change all that. That’s pretty … Continue reading

Even Rock Star Wives Sing the Blues

One afternoon not too long ago as I was folding laundry I was watching True Hollywood Story: Rock Star Wives. It was sensational. Some of the rock stars profiled included Dee Snider (Twisted Sister), Alice Cooper, Duff Mckagan (Guns N’ Roses, Velvet Revolver), Slash (Guns N’ Roses), and Vince Neil (Motley Crue). Both the wives and the rock stars were surprisingly candid about the trials and tribulations their marriages experienced. What struck me most was how so many of the marriages had encountered every kind of worst case scenario imaginable. And I’m not talking about just one kind of worst … Continue reading

Don’t Let Helplessness Control Your Happiness

Helplessness is a major contributor to marriage conflict, disagreements and even depression. The sense that you have no control over your environment and that nothing you do can affect it can leave you ineffectual and helpless. A sense of helplessness can create increased psychological stress on your life and on every interaction you have. Too often, we get caught up on a runaway train of coping with financial problems such as getting our bills paid, saving up for holidays and events. Changes in technology such as trying to get through to report a problem with something can leave us frustrated … Continue reading

Is Your Marriage on the Back Burner?

The back burner is a term often used with regard to soap operas for characters that do not play a pivotal role in a current storyline. We may see them, but we don’t spend a lot of time with them. They drift into and out of the canvas of the current storyline with relatively little impact. When your marriage is on the backburner is can be because you are devoting so much time, energy and emotion into your children, family, career or some combination of the above that you unconsciously detach yourself from your spouse. The Parent Trap The parent … Continue reading

Relationship Geometry – Love Triangles

It always amazes me that love triangles are such the thing in films, television programs and novels. There is something intrinsically sad about the idea of two friends being divided over their mutual affection for one person. To really sell a triangle, you have to build belief and support up into both the individual relationships with the gentleman or lady in question, but also the relationship between the friends or worse, the siblings, who are divided. Love in the Daytime Soap operas are infamous for their love triangles, but the problem you run into is that a love triangle always … Continue reading