Taking the Guilt Out of Discipline

So often as single parents we feel guilty for disciplining our children. We don’t want to be seen as the “mean” parent. You’re afraid that your kids won’t want to be with you anymore and they’ll go running to your ex. Make sure that your kids know that even though Mom and Dad don’t live together anymore they are still a team. It is important that you and your ex communicate about your rules and expectations for your children. Have clear consequences at both houses. You both need to take responsibility and discipline your children. Just because you are divorced … Continue reading

Discipline With Love

There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Although punishment is a form of discipline, it tends to be ineffective in most cases. When we learn to discipline our children with love it becomes more of a learning process than mere punishment. The goal of discipline is to correct behavior and to teach our children to be responsible members of society. We are raising the future generation. We have a great responsibility. Learning how to discipline your child can be an overwhelming thing for any parent. No two children are alike. Some forms of discipline may work well for one … Continue reading

Discipline Do’s and Don’ts

As parents we are always looking for more effective techniques that show us how to deal with common problems that we all face. Discipline is one of those areas. In the November issue of Parents, they offer five tips for discipline do’s and don’ts. (1) Don’t Bribe— Most of us are guilty of bribing our kids at one time are another to either get them to do something or not do something. Giving our kids rewards for work well-done is okay but we have to resist the urge to reward them in other instances, for example, giving them candy to … Continue reading

Discipline and the Plan of Salvation

I am the kind of person who overplans and overanalyzes pretty much everything. Lest you think I am exaggerating, at the age of thirteen, I worried that someone might break into our home, so I practiced walking around barefoot in the woods in case I had to flee, shoeless, in the middle of the night. So you can only imagine how far into overdrive I shifted before I gave birth to my daughter five and a half years ago. And if you are a parent, you can also imagine how much of that has gone out the window. Not that … Continue reading

Discipline vs Punishment

Here’s a quick one question pop quiz. What’s the difference between punishment and discipline? According to Dr. Ed Wemberly, author of A Parent’s Guide to Raising Great Kids, although the two words are often used interchangeably they are not the same. Discipline is the practice of making someone obey rules, while punishment is the consequences of not following established rules. The differences may be subtle but they are still significant and must be considered if we want to be the kind of parent our kids need us to be. What type of parent are you? Are you a discipline-based parent? … Continue reading

Discipline for Children

We are all born into this world with a sinful nature. You can see it in the demanding toddler, the mouthy preschooler, the mischievous grade-schooler… This nature needs to be tamed in us by discipline. Discipline and punishment are a bit different. In looking to the American Heritage Dictionary, the first definition of discipline is, “Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.” When we look at the definition of punish, it says, “To subject to a penalty for an offense, sin, or fault.” So what should our objective … Continue reading

Curbing Bad Behavior: Biting

Once bitten, twice shy. Or in my daughter’s case, indefinitely shy. And in my case, infinitely outraged. Last year, my child was on the receiving end of a serious bite.  Not by a spider, a dog, nor a snake, but by a boy diagnosed with a developmental disorder. My daughter’s bloody injury required emergency medical treatment.  Fortunately, her tetanus shot was up-to-date, so she wasn’t forced to endure a booster. Despite the passage of time, the details of that traumatic day are still seared in my memory.  As I learned from the attending physician, human bites can be far more dangerous than … Continue reading

Disciplining Your Child: Some Ways Work Better Than Others

I would love to think that time-outs were the ideal disciplining method to curb unruly behavior and bad attitudes, but sometimes they are not. They are a good first method to try and hopefully it will work. It does not harm the child physically. It is also not too harmful regarding their self-esteem. Once the time-out is over and done the previous activity can resume. I tried time-outs many times. I was hoping that it would eventually work. It did somewhat, but not as well as I had hoped it would. Initially, time-outs were me holding my child in his … Continue reading

Dad Loses It, Shoots Santa

Did hear about the dad who had it up to here with his bratty kids the day before Christmas? He apparently lost it, cancelled the family’s Christmas, and to drive home his point, went outside with his rifle and shot Santa Claus. I guess his use of the Santa threat wasn’t as successful as mine, so he took matters into his own hands. “Dad Pushed to the Edge By Warring Kids, Grabs Gun and Shoots Santa!” Now there’s a headline you don’t see everyday. It’s the stuff urban legends are made of, only this isn’t a legend; rather it’s part … Continue reading

Changing Rules and Expectations–Expect Initial Resistance

When there is a problem with your child that needs addressing, or a phase that pops up that you need to deal with as a parent, it may seem like just figuring out what to do is the hard part. I think, however, that the hardest part is those first few days of balking and resistance that come from the child! Just because you have come up with a grand and logical solution, doesn’t mean that the child will be thrilled to welcome the limits and boundaries. As a parent, you should expect that the first couple days will be … Continue reading