Open, Semi-Open or Closed Adoption part 4

I realize that some biological or adoptive parents want to keep the personal contact information private. Some fear the bond being too close between the biological parents that it may affect the bond between the adoptive family and the child. I do not want to say that would never happen because I suppose it could but I personally think if the child is loved by the adopted parents that the child would have the best of both worlds. If the biological parent is well balanced, emotionally stable than the benefits of having some form of contact with the biological parents, … Continue reading

Open, Semi-Open or Closed Adoption part 3

With open adoption both the biological family and the adoptive families know the names, addresses and contact information for each other. In our situation and the fact the biological mother did not seem to me to have the ability to make great decisions so we did not want her to know our information. We were concerned that if she had our information we would eventually hear a knock at the door and she would be there. We actually took preventative measures to insure that she did not know our information. We used my maiden name for any introductions and papers … Continue reading

Open, Semi-Open or Closed Adoption part 2

If you are considering placing your unborn child up for adoption or you’re considering adoption I hope that you read my last entry. If you did you will realize that both the adoptive and birth families have decisions to consider. The decision to participate in an open, semi-open or a closed adoption are decisions that both parties need to decide on. The first part of thinking about the decision is to consider how comfortable you are with sharing your child’s life with another person who is responsible for your child. I can see it from a few different positions. As … Continue reading

Book Review: Children of Open Adoption and their Families

Children of Open Adoption and their Families, by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner, is an important read for adoptive parents, whether their adoptions are open or not. Other books describe the process of adoption. This book explores how the children in open adoptions actually feel and think, and how the adoptive and birth family members feel. These stories of children and their parents are a gold mine for those of us who’ve always wondered, “But how does open adoption work, exactly?” This book was written in 1987, but open adoption had already been in place in some agencies for … Continue reading

Book Review: Adopting After Infertility

Adopting After Infertility differs from other adoption books in that it goes more deeply into the losses of infertility, attitudes toward family, and decision making, as well as parenting adopted children if that is the option chosen. The book is divided into three sections. Part One deals with the losses experienced by persons who are infertile. There are tips on self-care, dealing with the stresses of infertility, and handling family events and relatives’ baby showers. Rather than specific medical information on options, this book offers ways to consider the emotional impact of the various options such as hormone treatment, in … Continue reading

Book Review: The Mulberry Bird

The classic adoption book The Mulberry Bird, by Anne Braff Brodzinsky, seems to be one of those books that people either love or hate. I suspect that it all depends on the timing, which in turn depends on your child. Most people say their child loved it and seemed to find it reassuring. A couple of parents are sure it caused more trouble than it averted. I shared this ambivalence. I checked this book out of the library a couple of years ago and returned it without sharing it with my kids. This time, I put it on the shelf … Continue reading

How Do I Arrange for Future Contact With My Child If I Want It?

When a mother decides to place her baby for adoption through an agency, privately or independently she may choose to have a closed or confidential adoption or she may wish to have an open or semi-open adoption agreement with the adoptive parents. An open adoption might include some visits with the adoptive family and child during the years and a semi-open adoption usually means the adoptive parents will agree to send pictures and an update letter every now an then. Once in awhile even in an open or semi-open adoption things don’t go the way it was planned. Sometimes, the … Continue reading