Celebrity Moms Adopt – Part 1

A few famous celebrity moms have recently adopted children. They are all at different stages in their life – one is married, one is in a same-sex relationship, and one is a single mother. Actress Katherine Heigl said adoption was always a part of her family plan, even as a little girl. Maybe that’s because she came from a family that adopted. Heigl grew up with her sister Meg, who was adopted from Korea three years before Heigl was born. She has said in interviews that she always wanted a family that resembled the one in which she grew up. … Continue reading

Adoption Loss

Throughout the adoption process, when people heard that we were adopting they automatically looked at us like we were defective. They would ask if we had tried hormones, in-vitro, or if my husband was not able to make babies. There are no biological reasons why we went the adoption route. The choice to adopt was just that for us, a choice. We made a conscious choice to prevent ourselves from getting pregnant; we made the choice to adopt as a couple from the beginning of our marriage. You would be surprised at how differently families that adopt are treated compared … Continue reading

Waiting… waiting… waiting…

This is getting a bit ridiculous. As I sit here and think about kids who need homes, who need loving, permanent families, and I write about how much we have put into this adoption… classes, paperwork galore, references, background checks, research, discussion… we are finally at the point where we have an approved home study in hand and can be matched with a child, and what is happening??? Nothing… We wait, and we wait, and we wait. We have had three potential matches presented to us. One we said “no” to. Two are still possibilities. But, what is going on … Continue reading

The Adoption Waiting Game

There has been absolutely no progress on our adoption. People talk of the waiting game, but I have always imagined that as being part of infant adoption, not older child adoption. Parents wanting to adopt infants have to play the waiting game much more than parents wanting to adopt older children. When you express an interest in adopting older children, social services can, and will, work with you right away. We were presented with a possible match, but we have been playing phone tag with the case worker for weeks now. The last time she left a message for me … Continue reading

China Adoption Today

For several years, Americans have adopted more children from China than from any other country. Agencies recommend China to their clients as having a stable and predictable adoption process. Well, the good news is, it’s still stable and predictable. The bad news is, the time families wait for a referral is now measured in years instead of months. In December 2006, I wrote about China’s imposition of new requirements for adoptive parents. Most notably, these stipulated that singles were no longer eligible to adopt (China had been a popular option with single mothers until that time), and neither were people … Continue reading

China Adoption Book Review: The Lost Daughters of China

Karin Evans is a journalist. Her book, Lost Daughters of China: Abandoned Girls, Their Journey to America, and the Search for a Missing Past alternates between her story of adopting a one-year-old Chinese girl and her research into the circumstances leading to the abandonment of so many girls from China. (I should point out, as I’ve written before, that abandonment is not always—nor even usually in other countries—leaving a child to its fate. In countries where there are no adoption agencies helping birthparents nor laws allowing the relinquishment of babies, leaving a child in a place where she will easily … Continue reading

For Families Adopting from Haiti, Quake Brings Devastating Uncertainty

Only now is information about the 254 Haitian children who are being adopted by U.S. citizens beginning to trickle out of Haiti. Some of these children have already been legally adopted by U.S. citizens and are just waiting for their passports and travel visas. Some of them have been known by their adoptive families for months or years. Almost all have been visited by their adoptive parents at least once. A Washington State couple appeared on Thursday morning’s Today Show and spoke with Meredith Viera about the eight-year-old girl and six-year-old boy they are adopting. The adoption has been completed … Continue reading

Stress, Weight Gain and Depression in Adoptive Parents

“At least you don’t have to deal with the ‘maternity forty’!” chirped a colleague while I waiting for my third child’s arrival from Korea. Adoptive parents frequently hear comments like, “Oh, you’re doing it the easy way”. Now, having had a difficult pregnancy myself, I’m inclined to agree that MY adoption process wasn’t as difficult as my pregnancy. But I was blessed to have had the choice both to conceive and to adopt. Remember that many adoptive parents have been dealing with the grief of infertility. They often feel that their dreams of a family are at the mercy of … Continue reading

Book Review: Secret Thoughts of An Adopted Mother

“Dedicated with love to my son’s mother and mine,” writes Jana Wolff in her memoir Secret Thoughts of An Adoptive Mother. This sentence, as well as Wolff’s chapter “Mother’s Day or Mothers’ Day?” reveal Wolff’s understanding spirit, which shines through her memoir even as she discloses the conflicting thoughts and feelings that we all have. In her introduction, Wolff says that while she was a parent-in-waiting beginning the (domestic newborn) adoption process, she found books and articles about how to adopt, but none which talked about feelings brought up by different stages of the adoptive process. This book is an … Continue reading

Extended Family Members of Adopted Children May Need Hepatitis A Vaccine

If you are beginning an international adoption, you’ve probably thought quite a bit about the health of your potential child. In a home study, you have had to address questions about your own health. A few of us might think 6 months ahead to plan for a trip to our child’s country. Even if we do begin a vaccination schedule for ourselves, we likely wouldn’t think of having our parents or other close relatives, neighbors and babysitters vaccinated. I know I didn’t. But that needs to change. In a sobering case, a 51-year-old adoptive grandmother was hospitalized earlier this spring … Continue reading