Problems of Yesterday

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one…the only mother who longingly looks back to those days when my children were younger. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my teenaged children. It’s just that the problems of yesterday seemed so much easier to deal with. My husband has been working on getting videos of our children transferred from VHS tapes onto his computer and then onto a disc. So we have been doing a lot of reminiscing. I watch my children laugh and play, twirl and run. It all seemed so carefree back then. But I think what it’s … Continue reading

Husbands and Home Births

Shortly before I began dating Tristi, I read Arthur Janov’s book, “Imprints: The Lifelong Effects of the Birth Experience,”and began to understand why having children at home, without drugs, might be helpful to them and their mother. I didn’t necessarily agree with everything Arthur had to say, but his book did open my mind to the possibility that many children don’t need the full hospital interventions that often happen in America. According to Dr. Janov, babies born without drugs, whether at home or not, tend to be less irritable, and grow up with fewer psychological issues. When I asked Tristi … Continue reading

Interfering in Children’s Friendship Problems

I don’t know why I do it…but alas it has happened again. It is parental intervention in a friendship problem with my child. For some reason I really struggle with letting my children work it out. I hate to see them hurt or not getting along with someone, so I attempt to patch things up. However that almost always backfires. When my oldest son was in middle school he had a lot of difficulties with his best friend. The problem is that his best friend’s mother is also my very good friend. Needless to say it ended up causing friction … Continue reading

Is Your Husband Having On-the-Job Stress?

My husband is a pretty calm guy. But when things aren’t going well at work, he gets tense, and it carries through into all the other aspects of his life. He doesn’t seem able to leave work at work. He wakes up thinking about it, falls asleep thinking about it, and it pervades all we do. Over the course of our marriage, I’ve asked him why this is. Perhaps this answer will vary from man to man, but here are the reasons he gave me: 1. Men are hierarchical. There’s someone higher up on the totem pole, there’s someone lower … Continue reading

Are You Putting Other Things Before Your Husband’s Happiness?

There could be some very big changes coming to my family, which will definitely affect my marriage. My husband applied for a new job and has to call today to set up the interview appointment. The reason this would be such a change is because it is a traveling job. Now if this opportunity had come up even a couple of years ago, I would have been completely against the idea. I would never have thought that my husband traveling could be a good thing for our family. But to be honest, that really would have been rooted in selfishness. … Continue reading

Rent or Buy: Our experience with home ownership

We bought a home mainly because we were always told that we should… not because it was right for us, but because it was expected of us. We were told that home ownership is important for stability of your family, real estate is always a good investment, and that owning a home would be cheaper than renting. I actually have a friend who used to argue these points with me so vehemently that I can’t even have the discussion with him any more. I understand that owning a home can be a really good investment. But I also understand that … Continue reading

Problems with Baby

A new baby changes the dynamic for a couple. There is no longer just the two of you to think about. Suddenly there is a third individual needing feeding, changing, bathing and caring for. The person who is at home with baby, in most cases the new mother, can feel she does little else all day but feed baby, change diapers, wash and do all those myriad activities associated with a baby. Then she finally gets the baby to sleep and her husband comes home. He’s been at work all day and wants to hold the baby. Recently a radio … Continue reading

Women and Age-Related Eye Problems

I was just remarking to my husband this morning that I really need to get a new pair of glasses. Since I wear contacts most of the time, glasses haven’t been a high priority. I usually only wear them in the morning before I’ve gotten a chance to pop those contacts in for the day. When I do wear my glasses, I tend to go around in a pair that is all scratched up, with one mismatched arm and frames that are slightly bent from being used my our youngest child to help his teddy bear see. Okay, so I … Continue reading

Should I homeschool without my husband’s consent?

Recently, the question was posed, “Should I homeschool without my husband’s consent?” Many times the wife is motivated to homeschool while her husband is against the idea. This issue can cause feelings of frustration and stress which can manifest into arguments. Like the mouse with the cookie, this leads to fighting and the fighting leads to insecure children and that leads to a long line of making independent decisions which continues to erode at a marriage. Due to this snowball effect, my answer is that homeschooling is not an option unless both parents are on board. Homeschooling is a massive … Continue reading

Don’t Ignore Problems in Marriage

In any marriage there are difficult times and often they can be worked through as we talk them out. But much as we might like to think we can handle any problems in our marriage and work them out on our own, sometimes we may need to admit that we need help. This blog was prompted by a comment posted in response to another blog. In Packed to the Rafters, an Aussie TV show very popular here at present the husband Dave, had this to say ‘men have a way of dealing with problems. They ignore them.’ There’s a certain … Continue reading