How do you break out of a bad reputation? It can be really difficult and a painful lesson that one of my children is learning.
It becomes even more frustrating when it’s a situation at church, and adults are involved. Youth leaders, who are supposed to be helping teens through these sometimes difficult years, yet can’t seem to let go of past behavior.
Now I’m not talking out-of-control behavior. I’m speaking of a teen with an attitude and talking when you aren’t supposed to.
Yet no matter how my child tries to remake herself, the old is the only thing that some adults can see. She feels like she can’t win. I have to be honest with her and tell her that she might not…at least with certain people.
The thing with a reputation is that it takes a lifetime to build but one moment for it to crash and burn. People can sometimes have a hard time seeing past the old you, or recognize the new person you are trying to create.
It may not be fair. It may not be nice. It may not be the right way to handle it…but it is what it is.
So now I have to help her work through this, not allowing it to discourage her. I have to be her cheerleader, even though I may be one of the very few on her sidelines.
Teens make mistakes. But what I would hope is that adults would recognize how much they can help
that teen rise up from the ashes.
At the same time, it is a powerful lesson to my child. The way you act, the choices you make, they can stick with you for a long time.
She may not be able to shrug this off until she leaves youth group, I don’t know. But as a parent I will do everything I can to encourage her to press on.
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