Maybe you know a military mom. She could be someone in your family, a friend, a co-worker or an acquaintance. If you do, I have some important advice to give.
Granted, there is some selfishness behind my advice. In fact, I am seriously considering emailing this blog to certain persons. But in the end, I will probably restrain myself and be content with helping others to understand a thing or two about what it’s like to be a military mom.
It’s not that I’m attempting to put non-military moms in my shoes. And contrary to what some might assume, it’s not that I am looking for sympathy. In fact, that is the last thing I want.
Sympathy conveys that the decision made to serve this country is one that warrants sorrow. No one can feel prouder than a military mom. So we aren’t looking for that.
Honestly, I think it comes down to commonsense. There are certain things you just don’t say to a military mom.
Let me give you a couple of examples. First, don’t say that it’s the same thing as sending a child off to college. I heard that one when my son first entered basic training and I knew that communication with him would be minimal.
A child choosing to not communicate with his or her parent while in college is completely different than one who has no choice. Believe me, that time spent in basic training (or boot camp), children want to call home.
Parents of college students also need to remember that most of the time; they can come home for holidays and in some cases, weekends. Military moms can go months or even years before seeing their child.
Second, don’t say, “Well he/she signed up for this.” That is very true. But as the mom, I didn’t.
I became a military mom by no choice. Even if I fully support my child’s decision (which I do), I have still been forced to make a lot of sacrifices.
Finally, please don’t ever diminish the separation experienced as a military mom. After having my son home for ten glorious days, saying goodbye to him this time was incredibly difficult.
He leaves in February or March for Turkey, a 15 month assignment. The very same day we said goodbye, I was told by someone, “Oh don’t worry, those 15 months will go by fast.”
Really? Maybe you would be good about spending that much time apart from your child but I’m not.
It’s hard to relate to those who aren’t going through a situation you are in, I get that. But it sure would make life more pleasant to military moms if others took some of this advice.