I’m no expert, but I would have to say yes. Crushes happen. And not just to school girls and boys. Saying “I do” and donning a ring on your left hand isn’t an inoculation against infatuation with people other than your spouse.
Dirty Little Secrets
But no one really talks about it.
I’ve seen girlfriends of mine get a little giddy when someone other than their spouse walks into a room. They act a little different, smile a little more, flirt even. It can be anyone from a co-worker to a family friend. I’ve teased a few of them about it, but they always dismiss it.
“I don’t have a crush on so-and-so. We’re just good friends.” Or, “It’s nothing. He just has a way of making me laugh.” Or, “Don’t be silly. I’m married.” Or, “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m too old for all that crush nonsense.”
Been There, Done That
I’m not ashamed to admit that over the years I’ve developed a crush or two on a man other than Wayne. Similarly, I’ve seen Wayne develop a crush or two of his own.
In our cases it’s always been harmless. A little flirting here and there, but no betrayals. It’s always remained platonic and innocent.
Can Crushes Be Dangerous?
Definitely.
I have no research to base my assumption on, but I’d be inclined to believe the majority of crushes just sort of fizzle out naturally. Eventually some flaw will shine through and overpower whatever it was you found appealing about your crush.
But sometimes they don’t fizzle. Sometimes they lead elsewhere.
The past six months I’ve witnessed a friend’s crush develop into a reason for leaving her husband. Even before the separation was official, she’d found reasons to spend more time with the crush. Now they’re an item. (Even though they’re both denying it because the divorce is nowhere near being final yet. But it’s pretty obvious and they’re only kidding themselves because everyone else sees what’s happening.)
Can Crushes Be Beneficial?
You betcha.
Crushes don’t have to lead to broken hearts or marriages. Crushes can strengthen your bond with your mate and rekindle your attraction to him or her. Because where you may become disenfranchised with a crush’s flaws, you may suddenly realize your husband’s or wife’s flaws are endearing and are what attracted you to them in the first place –and are what will keep you attracted for the long haul.
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