‘Children need models not critics.’ These were the words I saw recently outside a school. They struck me as very true.
Today we hear a lot from some older people about the younger generation and how they are not as well behaved, obedient, compliant, well mannered, or respectful as previous generations. Can I suggest that maybe there is a reason for that?
It is far easier to criticize than it is to model a lifestyle. Instead of being critics maybe what is needed is modeling a positive loving marriage. What young people to see is cooperation, courtesy, kindness, respect for others and especially your spouse and family.
Another factor crucial I believe to good relationships with children and with your spouse is spending time together. How can we expect our spouse or our children to want to talk and share their innermost thoughts, if we do not spend enough time with them to really get to know them, the things that are important to them and the things they care about?
My concern is that too often it is about self-fulfillment rather than devoting time to other people. As contrast take the example of a young woman. Of course these days anyone under 30 is young to me. This young woman is expecting her first baby and is currently not working. People cannot understand what she finds to do with her time. Yet she is always busy.
The reason is her life is invested in other people – in caring for, encouraging and supporting them, especially the young people in her church.
Instead of being a critic, she is someone they can turn to, talk to because she spends time with them and has built up a relationship and takes time to listen to them and care about them. She and her husband are both living examples of what it means to be role models not critics.
Related articles
Respectful Relationships to Counter Horrifying Statistics
Children’s Behavior Threatenig a Marriage
Parenting- the Hardest Job Out