There was a woman I knew growing up who lived at the end of our street. I remember another woman in our ward talking to my mother about how much she wished that she had this other woman’s life. On the outside she appeared the have the perfect life; married, with three beautiful children, a nice house in a nice neighborhood. To this woman it appeared that she had it all. Little did she know that this was her second marriage. Her first husband beat her and her son on countless occasions. She had been through a nasty divorce and she and her son continued to deal with the emotional scars left behind by that man. She had walked through hell and back and so had her son, yet to the rest of the world she led a “perfect” life.
Sometimes I wish we could all walk around with a sign around our neck saying, “Please be gentle, I’m having a rough time.” There was a quote I memorized as a teenager by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. He said, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” You never know what someone is going through. There have been countless times when I have felt judged for being a single mother. People have no idea what happened between my husband and I because it’s not something I walk around advertising, but perhaps if people knew the whole story, they would judge less harshly.
Instead of judging the woman at the end of the street for wearing her pajamas to the grocery store for a week, perhaps take it as a sign that more is going on and she needs some love from you. There is enough ugliness in the world without everyone judging everyone else around them. We all go through trials in this life, don’t judge others for theirs. Life is far deeper than what can be seen on the surface. Instead, make it a point to love those around you, give a helping hand where needed, and smile often. You never know just how much it means until you’re the one that needs it.