1. Is it formal, semi-formal or battle dress?
If it is formal, your escort will wear a Mess Dress which is the Air Force version of a tuxedo. You will need to wear a full-length gown (ladies) or a tuxedo (men).
If semi-formal, your escort will be wearing their dress blues with the appropriate semi-formal white shirt. You should wear a tea-length dress (ladies, day or evening), a cocktail dress (ladies, evening) or a suit and tie (men).
If you are attending a battle dress function (which is rare) wear something that you feel comfortable crawling across the floor in (seriously).
Always remember that no matter what style of dress you wear, it should be clean and fairly conservative. The last thing you want to do is embarrass yourself or your escort. A lesson learned comes to mind here. Some years ago, a photo of a couple dancing at a formal function went around the military email system. The lady in the photo was wearing a Liz Hurley style dress that was cut up to THERE and down to THERE. Needless to say, her dancing style left little room for error and there was little of her left in the dress. Ladies, you do not want to be that woman! Gentlemen, believe it or not, you do not want your date to be that woman!
2. Prepare!
What is the purpose of the function?
Will you be expected to participate?
Who are the VIPs at this function and what is their working relationship to your escort?
3. Practice your smile!
Although the Air Force is military, the politics of a successful Air Force career is very subtle and very real. Your behavior will reflect upon your escort, so do your best to be gracious and friendly to everyone you meet. If your escort is anything like my husband, work out a gentle signal that you can use to remind him/her to introduce you. For the first several years of our marriage, my husband was notorious for having long conversations with people at functions and leaving me standing there beside him smiling like a fool, all the while the people he would be talking to would be wondering who the heck I was! We finally worked out a system where I would remind him by gently squeezing his hand or elbow. The system worked and he’s very good about introducing me now.
4. Don’t get drunk!
When you are thrown into a social situation where you are mostly on your own, you may fall into the trap of having a few drinks to loosen up and not feel so shy or self-conscious. Don’t do it! There is nothing more embarrassing for a military member than to have a pie-eyed date slurring and stumbling around an important function. You are likely to say a great many things that you’ll regret the next day and your escort may regret for the rest of their career! Having a drink gives you something to do with your hands so have something non-alcoholic like juice or tonic water on ice or a cup of coffee. If you must have a drink with alcohol in it, just have one and nurse it throughout the function.
5. Know that your appearance and behavior make a difference.
Whatever you wear, do or say will likely reflect upon your escort. Be someone they can be proud of. Be cheerful, friendly, confident and gracious. If you can’t muster those things naturally then fake it! If you find yourself sitting or standing near a stranger, remember that they may just be your escort’s commander. Smile, introduce yourself (mentioning your escort) and then ask that person about him or herself. The best way to engage someone in conversation is to ask a question and get them to talk about themselves. After all, everyone loves talking about themselves but just remember that this is NOT your night to talk about YOU.