I kept reading and trying to understand. I had to wipe away tears and try to control sobs as I simply stood there staring at the words on the paper. It was all like a dream.
Words that I had almost longed for my entire life, but that in some ways I had prepared myself to never hear, spelled out on this paper.
“I’ve felt like a failure as a mother but my heart rejoices that at least I did right by you. Your card came at a very difficult time in my life – and I pray that you can know how deeply it touched me.”
Oh yes I did. I knew how deeply it touched her, because I was deeply touched my the letter I was holding and reading. A letter I would read and re-read hundreds and hundreds of times.
“I cry every time I read the 5 times you told me that you love me. Love is the most precious gift on earth. Only those who’ve known so little can cherish it so much.
Thank you my dear little girl, Nicole. I love you, too and I always have and I always will.”
Those words took my breath away. I had longed to know how my mother felt for so long. I had prepared myself that she would never accept me. That she hadn’t and wouldn’t ever love me. But she did. And she told me herself. I was amazed.
“The main reason I was determined to write to you today is because I was with Lloyd (my step father) and he let me read the letter you wrote him. I couldn’t get through the letter without tears and my heart broke that you would think that I wouldn’t welcome you with open arms, I love you, Nicole, nothing could ever change that. Wherever you got that idea (my siblings), you need to know that it’s just not true. I treasure your love as a precious gift from God – I am very happy that you wrote me and look forward to hearing from you soon!
All my love always, your mother, Robin”
I think I seriously thought I’d died and gone to heaven. This letter was the beginning of the most amazing experience of my life.
I had finally made contact, and the dreams and hopes I had carried with me all of my life, were about to come totally true.
And what an adventure it became.
More of the Story Soon! Just watch my blog!