A Pattern Set Early

I’m horrified when I hear some of the stories that come from people about weddings. In so many the bride turns into a Bridezilla who wants everything her way because it is her day. I’ve got news for her, it is not her day. It is the bride and groom’s day.

Recently my hairdresser told me a story about just such a Bridezilla, who insists everything be done her way. Parents, bridesmaids, groom’s wishes are not being taken into account. It is all what she wants.

When my married daughter and were talking later, she said she’s seen and heard too many cases where the bride takes over and the groom step back and says ‘fine’ and leaves it all to her. What sort of pattern is that setting for their married life? How will they ever? How will they live together and work on a marriage if they can’t even plan a wedding together?

In a marriage like this there is no co-operation, no give and take and certainly no talking things over together as Tristi suggested. They’re not learning to become united. That’s really it and dare I suggest why so many marriages fail, because one person wants all their own way and the other person gives in. It may work for a while when love is still new and a novelty but after a time the person doing all the giving will wake up. They will start to get resentful and fed up with it, that their needs aren’t being considered and met. They will start looking for someone who meets their needs at least some of the time.

Marriage is not a one way street. It is two people working and planning and heading together on a journey. But just as any journey starts with the first step, a pattern of a marriage can be started even before the wedding. What about your marriage? What is the predominate pattern? Is it one of unity, give and take and partnership? To my mind that’s what marriage should be.

Related articles

What I Love about Being Married

When Love is Fading

Know Yourself

Husband/Wife Powwow

What Would You Give Up for Your Spouse?