‘Actions speak louder than words,’ that’s one of the things my mother taught me when I was growing up. And it’s true. We can tell someone we love them time after time but unless our actions back up, reinforce and prove our words they are worthless.
I had to chuckle when I read Mary Ann’s blog about her children’s observations about marriage but it is so true that children learn about marriage by what they observe. Recently my daughter and I were talking about marriage and she laughingly said ‘Now I’m married, you have to teach me about being married.’
I replied, ‘Dad and I have been teaching you about marriage all your life.’
You see, I’m a great believer that children learn from what they see modeled in the home. Yes, they will also learn by what they see modeled in society and on the TV or movie screen but the model that is likely to most closely affect them is the model of marriage they see at home. Do they see Mom and Dad looking out for each other, helping each other, supporting and encouraging each other? Or do they see Mom and Dad saying one thing but showing something entirely different by the manner in which they speak to each other or by the things they do?
Yes, it’s good to talk to your kids about marriage and what it means. Mick and I have always done that with our now adult offspring, but it’s even more important to show them. I always think of the song Eliza Doolittle sings in My Fair Lady. ‘Don’t talk of love, show me.’ The lyricist of that song got it right. We need to show our spouse and our children what love looks like.
As I listen to the children Mick and I teach at school, I realize these days so many children come from families that are torn apart by divorce. They can have a very misguided view of love and marriage. So maybe we might need to even to show those children of neighbors and friends as well, what love looks like and what a happy lasting marriage looks like. If theirs is not a happy home life, it may be the only place they will see it.
Related Blogs