We have friends with three adopted children. One of their boys is very open about the fact that they are adopted. His sister does not want for it to be general knowledge. They attend the same grade school, so it causes a minor conflict.
Our oldest attended that school as a kindergarten student. The school insisted that he be enrolled under his old name since it was still his legal name. When Walter was adopted, his name was changed in the school records and in his class.
It was his option to let the change go without a lot of attention. But he was proud of the fact that he had been adopted. He also had opted to change his first name. He decided that he wanted to be Matthew Walter Paul and that is his name today. His teacher and the kids in his class started calling him Matthew. The change has never caught on with the family. Periodically, we try to start calling him Matthew, but it never seems to work.
His teacher was very excited that he had been adopted. She suggested that they have an adoption day party for him in his class. He thought that it was a great idea, so they had a party to celebrate.
He has never been shy about telling people that he is adopted. We have always emphasized that we saw him, fell in love with him, and choose to adopt him. He is proud of that.
We were recently standing in line to ride a children’s train. Walter had quickly started a conversation with the people behind us. Early in the conversation, he informed them that he was adopted because his birth mother could not take care of him. Walter likes attention and perhaps he has sensed that his story is a good way to meet people.
No one will ever look at us and assume that we are a biological family. Maybe that is why he is so forthcoming with the information. In my example of our friends, the boy who talks about being adopted does not look like his parents, while his sister does.
So far in the life of our family, we have been very comfortable about who we are and how we came to be a family. He never has to give anyone any information and I have made sure that he knows that. We will always be very proud of him and we hope that he will always be proud of us.
Related Blogs:
Ethnic Culture Class, Part 1
Ethnic Culture Class, Part 2